Cracked Science Corner!!!!11!!

Welcome to another edition of Cracked Science Corner! (!!!!11!!) Today, we go behind the headlines to explore some fascinating new research that will turn you from a confident know-it-all into a sniveling pile of incertitude, all within a few mind-blowing seconds. Because as it turns out, approximately 90% of what you believe is crap---at least medically speaking, according to a recent study of commonly-accepted medical b.s.:

Reading in dim light won't damage your eyes, you don't need eight glasses of water a day to stay healthy and shaving your legs won't make the hair grow back faster. These well-worn theories are among seven "medical myths" exposed in a paper published on Friday in the British Medical Journal...

Other myths busted---hey, that gives me an idea for a show---include the notion that hair and nails grow after death (which is thought to have originated with photos of Joan Rivers), that we only use 10% of our brains (it's actually closer to 0%), and that eating turkey makes you drowsy (it actually has an effect similar to an ecstasy/crack speedball). But the list failed to mention these additional myths, which are just as widely accepted, and just as false:

Walking barefoot in public restrooms makes you thin and causes your albums to sell really well
Marrying your adopted stepdaughter makes you a better film director
Smoking marijuana does not make you vote for Ron Paul
Believing 9/11 conspiracy theories causes mental retardation (turns out it's the other way around)
Bashing beloved rock legends for an easy blog post makes you popular
Doing speed while pregnant makes your babies faster
Having gay sex with gay men in restrooms makes you gay (it actually makes you cool); and finally,
Reeding Cracked make you more smarder

___ Ian Cooper is a frequent contributor to the Cracked Blog. For more of his thoughts on what a bad person you are, visit his website, Wrapped Up Like a Douche.

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