GAMING BENDERS PRESENTS: HRONO RICGER FUCKERS OF TIME PRESS START

3:45PM, Guardia Forest Campgrounds:

4 THA

oks MARLE: THIS IS A GREAT PARTY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD REALLY GO FOR? AND THIS IS GOING TO SOUND A LITTLE WEIRD: A BAG OF EXOTIC FRO-

Chrono Trigger 2 : Benders of Time, Trippers of Balls

DRUG DEALING -LEVELLEE UP! - MARLE: HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU THAT YOURE THE BEST DRUG DEALER EVER?

Chrono Trigger 2 : Benders of Time, Trippers of Balls

P lill

E CHHO

AO 0iz:z CRICICLLILDE

MARLE: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? LUCCA: WEVE FUCKIN'.. WEVE GONE THROUGH LIKE A THING. LIKE A TIME...THING. VORTEX!

LUCCA: CRONO, ARE YOu SEEING THIS? CRON0? HEY, YOU ALL RIGHT? MAN, I THINK CRONO'S TRIPPIN BALLS. HE HASN'T SAID A WORD SINCE WE GOT HERE.

RRORRE MARLE: WHAT IS AH! AHH, JESUS CHRIST!

Chrono Trigger 2 : Benders of Time, Trippers of Balls

TNPU

LUCCA: THAT WAS... .INSANE. WHY DO I GET THE SUDDEN FEELING THAT THERE IS A GREAT EVIL AT THE ROOT OF TIME THAT ONLY WE CAN DESTROY? MARLE: BECAUSE YO

MARLE: STILL, WHAT IF? WE SHOULD PROBABLY ROLL WITH THE WHOLE TIME KILLER THING. LUCCA: WOrd. COME ON, CRONO, LET'S GO MURDER TIME OR WHATEVER. I'M BO

Chrono Trigger 2 : Benders of Time, Trippers of Balls

-- Continued on Page 2 --

5:45PM, Dark Tower Bridge (?):

MARLE: AHHH! LUCCA: HANG IN THERE, MARLE! JUST STAY WITH ME! WE CANT LOSE THIS FIGHT, THE VERY FATE OF THE WORLD HINGES UPON IT!

LUCCA: STRIKE, CRONO! STRIKE FOR MARLE, STRIKE FOR ME, STRIKE FOR YOUR MOTHER, FOR YOUR HOME, FOR LIFE AND LOVE AND ALL THAT LIVESP STRIKE! SSSSTRRRII

CAL ET

LUCCA: YOU'LL BE OKAY... MARLE: DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME! WE HAVE TO STOP LAVOS BEFORE HE DEVOURS THE SPIRIT OF THE WORLDP

MY FUCKING CAR! YICIXXCICXXIDX

7:30PM, Guardia Forest Campgrounds:

O.0.D AAAAAAAAAAAAA BI DHMEEMTENDHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAE 00MCEECDH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAE

Judgment Day:

MARLE: THIS IS IT! FINALLY, WEVE FOUND you, THE MIGHTY LAVOS: THE ALIEN BEING AT THE CORE OF TIME. LUCCA: YOUVE SPENT COUNTLESS EONS ABSORBING THE LIF

T LAVOS: KIDS, I NEED YOu TO LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, OK? OME THING IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAINS. I'M NOT A LAVA-MAN, ALL RIGHT? MY NAME IS CARL. I WORK AT

LAVOS: I JUST WANT TO GO HOME, SIT IN FRONT OF THE TV, EAT A HUNGRY MAN AND PROBABLY FORGET TO TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE AGAIN. PLEASE, JUST IM GONNA WALK

LAVOS: 45000/45000 SPECTES: TIME-EATER TYPE: TOTALLY NOT CARL HEAKNESS: FIRE LUCCA: IVE GOT IT HE'S WEAK AGAINST FIRE! CRONO, WE HAVE TO USE OUR DUAL

LAVOS: AHHH! GOD, WHY?! WHY?! I'M NOT A LAVA MAN! I'M JUST A CARL! CAARRLLLL!!!

LUCCA: OH YEAH? WELL IF YOURE NOT LAVOS, THEN WHY ARE YOU WEAK AGAINST FIRE? HA! LAVOS: EVERYTHING IS WEAK AGAINST FIRE! IT'S FUCKING FIREP EIIIYAAAA!

RING! LUCCA: WE DID IT! RING! MARLE: WEVE LOST, LOVED, SUFFERED AND REJOICED. WE'VE SPANNED ALL OF TIME AND SPACE, BUT WE HAVE WOn! WE HAVE SAVED THE

RING RING!

Crono. RING! RING!

8:30AM, Truce Village

BINY RING MOM: You wERE So ecited about the Millennial Fair that you didn't sleep well, did you...?

BINGI RINGI I want you to behave yourself today!

Chrono Trigger 2 : Benders of Time, Trippers of Balls

TERIOUS VOICE: AND SO YOU AWAKEN, TO FIND IT ALL JUST A DREAM...

MYSTERIOUS VOIcE: .. OR WAS IT?

Chrono Trigger 2 : Benders of Time, Trippers of Balls

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: OF COURSE NOT! JESUS, DON' T BE STUPID. YOURE GOING TO LIKE, ULTRA PRISON. END

You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter and Facebook or you can restart and try to get the better ending. You know, the one where you have self restraint.

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