Education is important. But is college? Is it worth paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for? What's a degree really going to get you, anyway? A plaque on a wall? A job? A cookie-cutter life with 2.5 kids and a golden retriever named Skipper? Forget that.
Those things all sound pleasant ...
Sure they do, but you don't need a degree to get them. What you do need is a Cracked education, and thanks to the Cracked Dispensary and the Cracked Store, you're going to get one. Save big on any of our online courses when you use the coupon code LEARN70. And if that's not enough to get you in the mood for learning, we've got some T-shirts that are basically Einstein squared. We're not sure of what that means yet, but it sounds intelligent.
As a Cracked alum, you don't bow to conventional wisdom. You know that Edison was a fraud and that our nuclear weapon systems are run with the competency of an Olive Garden. Wear this shirt as you lounge around lording your boundless trivia knowledge over others. Some people might ask you to "learn skills that allow you to hold down a steady job," but wave them off with a quick "The original script for Back To The Future had a chimpanzee sidekick." The world just isn't ready for your brand of knowledge, and that's ITS problem.
Enter the Teddy Roosevelt Printed T-Shirt. It's simple, stylish, and uncannily magnetic. Some of your friends might spend an hour wondering if their ironic T-shirt looks good under their retro jean jacket, but you wear this shirt because you know that Teddy Roosevelt wouldn't bother with silly modern fashion conundrums. Teddy Roosevelt would punch fashion in the face and ride away.
There are many literary horror match-ups to choose from: Stephen "When The Castle Is A Rockin', Don't Come A Knockin'" King vs. Clive "Books (And Fists) Of Blood" Barker, Richard "I Am Legend (And You're History)" Matheson vs. Ray "Something Kickass This Way Comes" Bradbury, and "The Battering Ram"-sey Campbell vs. "The Lean, Mean Dean Machine" Koontz, just to name a few. But the granddaddy of them all is Edgar "The Hit And The Pendulum" Allen Poe vs. H.P. "The Horror At Right Hook" Lovecraft. Wear this shirt and celebrate the greatest battle in spooky story history.
You don't need college to learn to code. You just need this comprehensive course on all things coding, complete with hundreds of lectures on insider web techniques. We're pretty sure you can land a coding job in just about any startup after mastering this class, but if for some reason you don't get a job, you'll still have all the tools you'll need to be the next Bill Gates on your own.
Do you have a good idea for an app-based company, but even the mere act of looking at a phone sends you into a technological panic? Not to worry. This course gives you step-by-step instructions in building iOS apps that are so thorough that even the dummiest of the dummies can use it.
We're still in an age in which cyberspace is essentially the Wild West, and if you don't know how to digitally defend yourself, you become the guy who never made it to the O.K. Corral because he got hit over the head with a beer bottle. This course teaches you how to recognize network vulnerabilities -- meaning not only will it help keep you safe, but it could also land you a pretty slick job as a white-hat hacker.
Do you want to become a professional photographer? Well, there's nothing you can't learn by just going out and doing it. But in case that's not true, we're offering this photography course to help you with the fundamentals. Now, when you go out with your DSLR to snap all sorts of artsy photographs, you have a deeper understanding of the medium beyond "Will this look good on Instagram?"
Make a scholar out of me!
All you need to do is scroll up and click on the links for each corresponding product. For more courses and T-shirts not listed in this article, just click the links here for the Cracked Dispensary and the Cracked Store. And don't forget to use the coupon code LEARN70. It's what smart people would do.
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.
It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.