As a Cracked alum, you don't bow to conventional wisdom. You know that Edison was a fraud and that our nuclear weapon systems are run with the competency of an Olive Garden. Wear this shirt as you lounge around lording your boundless trivia knowledge over others. Some people might ask you to "learn skills that allow you to hold down a steady job," but wave them off with a quick "The original script for Back To The Future had a chimpanzee sidekick." The world just isn't ready for your brand of knowledge, and that's ITS problem.
Enter the Teddy Roosevelt Printed T-Shirt. It's simple, stylish, and uncannily magnetic. Some of your friends might spend an hour wondering if their ironic T-shirt looks good under their retro jean jacket, but you wear this shirt because you know that Teddy Roosevelt wouldn't bother with silly modern fashion conundrums. Teddy Roosevelt would punch fashion in the face and ride away.