Become The Busiest Worker Bee With These 7 Courses

By:
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This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Watching online game streamers and professional "prank" stars create their own media empires from scratch really adds an extra sting to living in your parents' house while you're trying to muster some semblance of a career. And when you ask for help in your endeavors, what you get is either motivational poster "SYNERGY!" advice or someone screaming at you about bootstraps. So we think it's safe to say that the only thing that can actually spur you toward success is action, and the best place to start is with the Ultimate Productivity Bundle, available in our store for just $36.

You can grab your life by the proverbial horns with the help of these eight courses:

How To Find Your Life Purpose And Maximize Your Impact

Become The Busiest Worker Bee With These 7 Courses

Everyone knows that you miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take, but have you ever felt like it would be a lot easier if you actually knew what you were shooting at? If you're aimlessly floating through the breeze of life, perhaps try taking a few pointers from the greats. This course offers step-by-step heuristics for discovering what you have the most aptitude for, drawing from the successes of high achievers like Obama, Mozart, and Einstein.

27 Life-Changing Lessons From The Smartest People In History

Become The Busiest Worker Bee With These 7 Courses

We've mentioned before how school is about as good for learning as smashing a rock against your own head, and we still stand by that statement. Rather than prepare you for any kind of lifelong growth, school mostly teaches you how to pick the proper thing from A, B, C, or D.

The true path to wisdom is learning from your mistakes. But who wants to spend all that time making mistakes? That's why you should learn from the mishaps of others by listening to the words of history's smartest people. If you aren't able to glean some important lessons from their struggles, you can at least pick up a few soundbites to throw out at networking events.

Become A Speed-Reading Machine And Read 300 Books This Year

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Reading is great and fun until you bump into the dude with the bad scarf. We all know the guy. Running pea-coat-first into your conversation about literature, he then proceeds to hold books you haven't read over your head like a bully in a schoolyard. "C'mom, guys! Give me back my sense of joy. Give it back!"

But with this course, you will counter every "Of course you've read this ..." with "You're damn right I have." This speed-reading course will have you eventually chugging through a book a day, not only making you more well-read, but also making you another valuable soldier in the war against Scarf Guys everywhere.

How To Double Your Productivity By Tomorrow Morning: A 12-Step Guide

Become The Busiest Worker Bee With These 7 Courses

Managing time is not a thing that most humans instinctively have a knack for. It's 2 p.m. before most of us at Cracked can manage to stop ridiculing Mike Huckabee's Twitter and actually get to work. But once you learn how to not waste inordinate amounts of your day on internet animal distractions or on needlessly drawn-out morning rituals (spending two hours watching your friends' Instagram stories does not count as "waking up"), you'll be way ahead of most people in your professional league.

Make More, Work Less: Time Management + Productivity Course

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The most frustrating thing in life is when you push yourself seemingly beyond your limit and still can't reach your goals. When you hit a wall, sometimes it's better to stop pushing and start thinking. This course will teach you how to work smart by helping you to spend your time more efficiently and shed bad habits. If after this, you still find yourself hitting a wall, then we don't know, maybe stop running into walls? Get away from those walls. They're obviously giving you nothing but trouble.

Entrepreneur Productivity Hacks

Become The Busiest Worker Bee With These 7 Courses

Don't let Richard Branson's intense tan fool you; growing a successful business takes a lot of smarts and a lot of work. But you can learn how to lessen the burden by adhering to a tight schedule, leveraging your strengths, and delegating your weaknesses. Turn your business into a well-oiled money-making machine so that you too can lounge at the beach and work on your own horribly discolored skin tone.

Instant Public Speaking Master Class

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Knowing how to speak clearly, listen intently, and give a firm handshake doesn't make you a corporate sellout; it makes people pay attention to you. Even the most interior of introverts can learn professional social skills by following along with this step by step course. Before long, you'll be making your own Steve-Jobs-style keynote presentations to millions of tech nerds, and none of them will ever know how badly you're sweating.

Get Things Done: How To Organize Your Life And Take Action

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Getting things done doesn't mean you should always be in a state of near-panic. If you feel like the ground is coming out from under you, take some actionable advice from this complete life organization system. You'll make an action map to track your personal life goals, and hopefully take a deep breath or two along the way. You can get this course, along with all of the other seven courses, for just $36 today.

You know what they say about idle (idol?) hands -- they inevitably lead to Indiana Jones Mugshots. Get your buns in gear and sidestep the Federation Anarchy, May The Odds Be Ever In Your Flavor.

Just because you work hard doesn't mean you can't stay young at heart. Check out Stay Immature Forever With The Cracked Store.

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