The Top 5 Nooners: #1 Things That Rhyme With
This week, while Ross is in the mountains of Mexico training for his new role as a Cracked columnist, we're counting down our favorite Nooners from five to one. And we are at #1, Ross's favorite and one of the great moments of voice over narration ever caught on film. Awesome Video Of The Day "OH MY GOD! CASNADIAN DESTROYER!" On a first viewing without any context, today's video is pretty so-so: Some kids attempt a "Canadian Destroyer" in their backyard and look stupid. Go ahead and hit play. It's only 10 seconds long - I'll wait. Finished? Ok, good. Now you might be wondering to yourself, "Why did the kid scream "PARANOIAAAAA!" at the end there?" Don't worry - the uploader was kind enough to explain it in the "About This Video" section:
"ok this is our second destroyer but i have to talk about the announcer,camera guy.ok thats our frend carney and he wanted to rhyme something with canadian destroyer and he sounded like an idiot,i know he sounds gay too but try to pay attention to the move"I don't know why, but watching it again armed with that knowledge makes it about a thousand times better. It helps that his name is Carney, I guess, but mostly I just like the fact that he screamed "PARANOIAAAA!" because it was the first thing that popped into his head that rhymes with "Destroyer." Two problems there: First of all, "paranoia" DOESN'T rhyme with "destroyer." Secondly, even if it did rhyme it still wouldn't make any sense. Carney, if you somehow end up reading this, here's a list of post-Casnadian Destroyer taglines that work a little better:
- OH MY GOD!!! CASNADIAN DESTROYER!!! CALL A LAWYER!!!"
- OH MY GOD!!! CASNADIAN DESTROYER!!! I'LL BE IN THE FOYER!!!"
- OH MY GOD!!! CASNADIAN DESTROYER!!! MINI-ME WAS PLAYED BY VERNE TROYER!!!"
- OH MY GOD!!! CASNADIAN DESTROYER!!! "CALL YOUR EMPLOYER (TO LET HIM KNOW YOU WON'T BE COMING IN TO WORK TOMORROW ON ACCOUNT OF THE FACT THAT YOU JUST GOT CASNADIAN DESTROYED)!!!"
