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It was a bright sunny day in the Kingdom of Caring, with all of the Care Bears out playing on the clouds, enjoying each others company. Suddenly a hang glider soared by, circling once, and then came elegantly to rest atop the clouds. Out of the harness climbed a Care Bear who none of the others recognized. They gathered around, curious about this new visitor.
"Hello friend, what's your name?" Tenderheart Bear, the leader of the Care Bears, asked, drawing close to the impressively built stranger.
"My name is Bucholz Bear," the new bear said, removing his sunglasses. "And I'm on an important mission of caring."
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"My name is Bucholz Bear."
"Really? That's great," said Tenderheart Bear. All the other Care Bears nodded and cooed with interest. "Do you need any help? We're always looking for ways to spread the power of care."
"I do need help. Do you think it's easy getting up here? To this fluffy land of picnics and grabass?" Bucholz Bear spat on the ground. Seeing the Care Bears react poorly to that, his expression softened. He continued his story, "There's a girl out there who is feeling very sad, and I need to cheer her up. But it's a four man job. That's why I need your help."
"I don't know if he's a real Care Bear," said Cheer Bear. "I've never seen a Care Bear spit before. I don't like this one bit."
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"Cheer Bear, it's important to always help people care," scolded Tenderheart Bear. "Even ones who are drinking beer," he added, nodding his head in the direction of the cool new stranger who was doing just that.
"Bucholz Bear, we'd be glad to help."
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That night, the cold light from the moon softly lit the yard outside an ordinary suburban house. At the edge of the yard, a hedge rustled.
"Be quiet," Bucholz Bear hissed. "You'll ruin the surprise."
"A surprise mission of caring? Faith and Begorrah! Whatever for?" Good Luck Bear asked, his Irish accent grating on everyone's already taut nerves.
Bucholz Bear took a long drag from his cigarette. "Because if she knew she was going to be cared for, she'd start to get weirded out. She's got personal space issues."
Cheer Bear wrinkled her nose. "It sounds like she doesn't want to talk to you. Why do you even care so much?"
"Because we're Care Bears dammit.