People often imagine a group of stuffy ladies organizing sit-ins and wearing sashes, but the women's right to vote was actually built on a foundation of costume parades, live shows, and fucking pageants. Why the hell aren't we protesting with pageants anymore, you guys? Where the hell are the party buses and Mannequin Challenges? The Women's Suffrage movement absolutely had those things -- they just called them "parade floats" and "tableau vivant"...the latter literally being a group of actors standing completely still to create a live photograph.
University of Southern California "OK girls, just need to stand for 2 more hours!"
I know you're angry. I know that for certain races and religions, amassing in protest will more likely lead to police brutality and condescension from politicians. Not everyone has the luxury or patience for pleasantries when their rights are being pummeled in real-time. This anger deserves respect. But to wield it constructively, it also needs to be tempered and rationed. It needs to be communicative and appealing. It needs to be cool, smart, and sophisticated rage, like a grizzled doctor who plays by his own rules.
Forget those "cuck"-screaming Nazis. Forget those ninja-clad firebombing assholes. Like the dickheads who screamed and pushed the Suffragettes all those years ago, there are always people hoping to turn the collective into a horde. But in a time where the leaders of this country have never looked and acted more like political cartoon caricatures, now is the time to show them how gnarly Team Fuck-This-Shit can be.
Follow Dave on Twitter because he craves your approval. Also -- if this current administration isn't your cup of tea, perhaps check out this handy resource for nonviolent protest.
It's Spring Break! You know what that means: hot coeds getting loose on the beaches of Cancun and becoming imperiled in all classic beach slasher ways: man-eating shark, school of piranhas, James Franco with dreadlocks. There are so many films about vacations gone wrong, it's a chore to wonder if there's even such a thing as a movie vacation gone right. Amity Island and Camp Crystal Lake are out. So what does that leave? The ship from Wall-E? Hawaii with the Brady Bunch? A road trip with famous curmudgeon Chevy Chase? On this month's live podcast Jack O'Brien and the Cracked staff are joined by some special guest comedians to figure out what would be the best vacation to take in a fictional universe. Tickets are $7 and can be purchased here!
Also check out 5 Ways Powerful People Trick You Into Hating Protesters and The 8 Most Ridiculously Badass Protesters Ever Photographed.
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