6 Adult Movie Titles Altered to Be Oscar Contenders
Porn is one of the few forms of entertainment completely willing to acknowledge its own incompetence at everything outside of the very particular talent of genital bumping. It's terrible at plot, at acting, at cinematography, and ... gaffing (probably), and it shows no intention of advancing on any of these fronts. Yet somehow, admitting and accepting its flaws seems endearing to us and we have a hard time staying mad. Porn is that cool guy in the back of the class whose unapologetic nature and cavalier attitude toward the world makes him hard not to like. Granted, it also eclipses his junior high drug problem and the fact that his entire family was bred from abuse, but in eighth grade you don't know that, all you know is that he is having sex and you are not.
"Thanks for the Social Studies help Mrs. Weiler!"Sadly, a lesson we all must learn is that the most charismatic people in the world are also sort of inherent dicks. Missionary Position Impossible, Honey I Blew Everybody, and Edward Penis Hands are all testaments to pornography's refusal to take anything seriously, including copyright infringement. They don't take into consideration the directors, writers, and actors of the original blockbusters who can only watch helplessly while their creations are reduced to a sexual pun and dragged through puddles of forensics. The true filmmakers have no recourse against porn unless they are willing to fight absurdity with absurdity, and while some of them may be above that, I am certainly not. The following are 6 classic adult movies with the ridiculous sexuality undercut by even more ridiculous drama. I do this not only to give porn a taste of its own medicine, but in the hopes that I inspire at least one studio executive to offer these films a fighting chance, and to give me a pile of money.
Debbie Does Dallas
The Devil in Miss Jones
I owe a special thanks to Dan Campagna for helping me with the movie posters. And by "helping" I mean doing them for me when I revealed how little I know about Photoshop.