Last week, famed marble-mouthed rapper 50 Cent posted several tweets in which he urged his followers to purchase the stock of a company called H and H Imports, with promises of sure and immediate wealth if they did so. If you've spent any time at all wading around your spam folder, you might recognize this as being chin-strokingly similar to a scam called a "pump and dump." That's the term for an investment scheme where a scammer makes an investment in a very cheap stock, then sends out spam trying to convince as many other people as possible to purchase the stock. Once these savvy and far-sighted investors have bought in, inflating the stock's value, the scammer dumps his investment, making a tidy profit, all the while presumably twirling his cane around and chortling something about "rubes." It's one of the most laughably elementary scams there is, the FBI rating it only slightly more sophisticated than jacking someone over the head with a brick and taking their shoes.

50 Cent Attempts to Scam You On Twitter
"Son, come over here for a second. Now tell me, are those Air Jordans?"

Whether Fiddy himself gets in any trouble for this is still unclear. At this point there's no indication that he actually sold the stock, which would leave him in the clear -- there's nothing necessarily illegal with promoting a stock you own. We'll have to wait and see what happens, but the mere thought of 50 Fucking Cent berserking his way through securities law like a madman is awesome enough to savor, just as it is.But there's another question here, one no one else seems to have picked up on: Has Fiddy done anything like this before? Taking it upon myself to do the hard-nosed reporting the
Lamestream media evidently won't, I shifted slightly in my chair and poked through 50's archive of tweets to see what else he'd been up to. The results were both shocking and not at all fabricated.
50cent Oh %$#*! I've got  mill trapped n Nigeria and need 2 xfer it 2 some- one. Plz wire 0 transfer fee and I snd csh 2 u. We split proceeds 10
50cent Say u're not paying full price for ink cartridges!! Lol! STOOPID! Buy my ink refill kits and save huge roll. 7:24 PM Sep 11th via Uber Twitter
50cent You knw wats crazy? You just won the Belgium national Lottery! Visit http://bit.ly/h374hj3 to submit bnk deetz to accept prize (9/M Euro) 4:14
50cent HIp 50 PLZ! I am injured and in france. I need 00 urgently to pay medical blz. Plz wire to my paypal! France is the worst! 9:1 AM Sep 4th vi
50cent Os**t son! U need to buy this vac- cuum cleaner! It picks up fool's blood & 9mm casings. By reading this u agree to buy 3. PLZ RT W. CC info. 9
50cent U got problems with yo driveway? Me and my boys will repave that. C we already started! No, don't worry about costs, we sort later. 9:34 AM Aug
50cent Yeah, that was a bigger job than we thought. You gots to owe me 00 dollars. Don't make me shoot U. You woudn't like me when shoot you. 4:18
50cent Losing yo ass don't have 2b hard! Try thees diet pills! FREE TRIAL! U NO WUT BEATS FREE? NOTHING. Wheelchair guy with robot voice proved it. 8:
50cent Any1 who needs 2 get cash shud cum down 2 my place and use my new ATM. Don't worry bout extra wires coming out bak. its legit (legit quit) 3:30
50 Cent Attempts to Scam You On Twitter
50cent Any1 want 2 by the Brooklyn Bridge offa me? Good deal 4U because I have 2 move. NY real estate good long term ivestment. Excellent views. 12:55
50cent WHO NEEDS 2 MAKE COCK STRONG LIKE ALUMINUM? U DO? Be cool. We keep voices down. Send me  and I send dong pills made of tigerstscience 12:18
50cent Yu know I th best W. funds rite? Give yo money to 50c Equity Investments, and I guarantee investment reutrns of 30% pla. Don't ask Wont Tell 8:
50cent Just pick the red queen. Easy as pie. See this N*** A just won ! Why don't U play? Gots to put yo money down first tho. Gots to pay 2 play 8
50cent LoL. Penis Strong pill ads making huge bank for fiddy! I'm sleeping in huge piles of dirdy s & s with impressed women. 11:34 PM May 28th
50 Cent Attempts to Scam You On Twitter
50cent Hay boyz! You need to get back into your Facebook account cuz there's probs wit it. Just login here: http://www.50c.facebook.tvllogin.html AM J
50cent Lot of people need money, but they think you got to rob mad n***s to get it. No! Work from home making ,000 a week! ASK ME HOW. 10:48 AM Jun
50cent TELL YOU HOW: Sign up people 2 sell wang pills on this link: http://bit.ly/h374hj3 and then they sign up people to sell wang pills. ETC. Earn $
50cent RT @FBI WireFraud01: LoL! U ain't got sh**t on me. Drink you Vitamin Water bitchiz and maybe you get fast enough to catch me. 1:19 AM June 8th
50cent ATTENTION! You are the millionth person to view this tweet! Click here to accept ur Prize, 1 Gym Bag Full of Guns! http://bit.ly/h374hj3 1:34 P
50cent Whoa. RT @IRS Jonny: Nope sir mainly just sold to friends and family. less than  net per annum. Tough economic sitch thes dayz, fo reals. 8:
50cent Hey Peepz: need place to lay low for a couple weeks. Any home boyz got digz in Nassau or Canaries? would like 2 rent that if price is ok 11:06
50cent S***TI I actually n prison in Canarys. 4 reals! I ned 00 4 bail! Plez Help I share money with you. NO BULL THIS TIME. FUCK IRONY! 11:29 PM J
50cent IM OUT! Thanks Broz for helping me. Promise 2 get cash back 2 u. Turning ova new leaf. Just need funds 2get started. Got sensible long term pla
50 Cent Attempts to Scam You On Twitter

Our new book is most definitely not a scam to get you to buy a book full of dongs. Pick it up and then check out more from Bucholz in The Shocking Truth Behind Justin Bieber Brand Nail Polish.

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