The point was that we went bananas over the idea of Japanese academic superiority. Was it warranted? No. Look at Japan now, all on the brink of war with China and stuff. But we did learn one thing that the Japanese school system had going for it -- the way of the samurai, which allowed children to die for their education. Sometimes those deaths took place in the form of stress-induced suicides, and sometimes they were more about honor battles with Macchios.
Proposal: The United States replaces the current mandy-pandy public education system with a rigorous academic fighting establishment.
Allow me to explain. Children thrive on competition. It's a known fact that twins often eat each other in the womb, not only taking on the strength of their other but warning their mother about what's what -- from the inside. And even non-twins are known to divert their mother's resources for their own nourishment. Why not take that fierce competitive spirit and nurture it? Why not breed a nation of fetii who have a hunger for for both their mother's blood and the (academic) blood of others?
I know what you're thinking: But Kristi Mae, what would we do with the bodies? Here's my answer to you: purses. Just kidding! We're not going to use the flayed skin of human children to make top-of-the-line handbags worthy of the Kardashian Kollection. Here's what I and specifically Cracked.com and all its staff and advertisers propose:
Militarize the classroom. The average kindergarten classroom looks something like this: