Both animals are at least somewhat aware that their tails are attached to their bodies, so they're not attacking them because they think it's a threat or a potential meal. From there, the reasons for the unrelenting attacks diverge. If a dog is doing it, it's most likely because they're bored. They may have adapted to being our best buds and will spend a lazy Saturday afternoon watching TV by our side, but their instinct is to be free-roaming creatures that let no man tell them what they can't chase. Their obsessive chasing of their own tails is the dog equivalent of a person talking to themselves when they're home alone. It's an outlet for their stir-craziness. So take them to the dog park before they rip their own tail off.
On the other hand, cats use tail-chasing to prove that they are in fact psychos. They're natural-born hunters. Chasing their tails is a way for them to stay sharp. They have to be ready in case they meet a small beast that needs to be pounced upon and tortured for an hour. There's not that much difference between a cat swiping at its own tail and the head of an evil ninja clan killing five of his own followers during his morning training regimen.
So the next time you see a dog chasing its own tail, maybe toss it a tennis ball or take it for a walk. The next time you see a cat chasing its own tail, hire it for a contract killing.
Why Does "Freshly Squeezed" Bottled Orange Juice Taste Absolutely Nothing Like Actual Freshly Squeezed Juice?
I understand that there's going to be a difference in flavor between a bottle of orange juice that claims it's freshly squeezed and juice after it's been squeezed by my own hands. But "freshly squeezed" -- or just the fact that a bottle of orange juice even considers itself orange juice at all -- has to be a lie. The gap between the flavors is so wide that they might as well be two different beverages, like how Budweiser is called a beer when it's actually carbonated dishwater.
I drank bottled orange juice for years, thinking that wringing half an orange into my mouth would be the same experience, only much more seductive to anyone who's watching. Then I finally squeezed my own juice one morning, and my tongue exploded. It didn't have the same sting of bottled juice. It was smooth and silky, as if the tree it was picked from had been played nothing but Barry White and Sade. It was sweeter, but not sickeningly so, like when you pour the perfect measurement of sugar into a coffee. It actually smelled like an orange, and not a citrus-scented air freshener mixed with the ass it's trying to mask.
There's a big reason for this, beyond the logical understanding that something bottled isn't going to taste as good as something fresh. Bottled orange juice gets its not-quite-orange flavor from orange "favor packs," as a part of a pasteurizing process that renders actual freshly squeezed OJ flavorless. Oxygen is removed to prevent spoiling when the fresh-squeezed juice is stored in large vats for up to a year before it hits store shelves. Removing oxygen removes flavor, so every major brand replaces the flavor with the so-called "flavor packs" made up of orange essences and oils to recreate the flavor it lost. The people who make flavor packs are the exact same people who formulate perfume scents for brands like Calvin Klein and Dior. So every time you drink bottled orange juice, you're drinking the labor of people who get paid to make us all smell fuckable to each other.
The final product is actual orange juice that has its flavor beaten out of it by The Man, and is now a pathetic shell of its former self and needs mysterious performance enhancers just to feel normal again.
Luis is busy trying to catch his own ass. In the meantime, he's on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.
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