The designers obviously asked themselves what makes women look powerful, and couldn't think of any women more badass than Melanie Griffith and Sigourney Weaver in Working Girl. But seriously, Season 7 was so '80s that I was fully expecting to see an Oingo Boingo poster over Daenerys' bed when she was having sex with her nephew. Season 7 was so '80s that I know how they traveled around so quickly: Jon Snow has a DeLorean. Season 7 was so '80s that I'm fully expecting Cersei to name her baby Reaganomics. OK, I'm done. For now.

HBO

The point isn't only that there were shoulder pads; the point is that shoulder pads were suddenly everywhere. In a series that's supposed to take place over great distances, and which started out with vastly different costuming to display regional tastes, it's slowly become more and more homogenized, and it's now obvious that one person is dressing everyone. And that one person fucking loves shoulder pads.

When Daredevil finally caved and gave us the suit, you could see why we went so long without it. It looked like a skintight jumpsuit made out of motorcycle leather, which would be completely impossible to go jogging in, let alone do sweet ninja flips. In fact, it actually was impossible to move in, and it required a redesign for Season 2. Charlie Cox said the changes were made for "maneuverability and comfort. And aesthetically as well." So, basically every possible reason. It was also haunted, and poisonous, and it made Vincent D'Onofrio cry, and at one point a witch came by the set and cursed it. So we just thought, you know, maybe some minor changes would be helpful. The creators of the show seemed to realize this as soon as they brought the costume on-camera, which is why they constantly bathed it in copious shadows:

Netflix

The redesigned costume debuted in Season 2, and it did look marginally more capable of movement, but it still has armor over the nipples, so nobody is really winning here. Obviously it wouldn't be fun to get your nip sliced off, but Daredevil is weirdly overly concerned about it. Also, why would you ever make a Daredevil costume with eyeholes? Please highlight the one cool thing about Daredevil and take out the eyeholes completely. That's like creating a fingerless superhero who still has to wear gloves everywhere. It just seems a little dickish.

Then there was a scene in the middle of Season 1 in which the king of France needs to be vulnerable, and the costume designer decided his usual black jacket with 15 gold buckles on it was too tough for the scene. Their solution was to drive down the street to JCPenney and buy a sweater for him.

CBS

For reference, this is what he looked like before they decided to go with the winter clearance sale option:

CBS

That sweater made me so angry. I did a lot for Reign. I said nothing when they named Mary's lady in waiting "Lola." I said nothing when sexy Nostradamus was a lead character. But when I saw that damn sweater, I lost all hope for this fictional universe. Also my current physical universe. I'm pretty sure that sweater got Trump elected. That sweater was the First Horseman of the Reign apocalypse, heralding future seasons of absolute nonsense. In a world in which sweaters existed in 1558, anything is possible, all the rules are made up, and in a soul-crushingly existential way, literally nothing matters.

More importantly, they look like no high school student on Earth. When I was in high school, my morning routine involved throwing on whatever fit that wouldn't get me suspended. After sifting through all of my "Fuck the police" shirts and extensive neon mesh collection, I usually came up with jeans and a T-shirt. If I was feeling really spicy, maybe a T-shirt on top of a sweater. Lydia, you fucking rebel.

Pretty Little Liars never hired a costume designer who heard of the concept of jeans and a T-shirt. "What do you mean jeeeens and a tee-shurt?" they must have asked the producer, obviously offended. "Do you mean a leather bustier, half a jean jacket, and the WWE Light Heavyweight Championship belt? Do you mean a skirt that looks like recycled wrapping paper, a blue leopard-print top, and a black cater waiter vest? Overalls attached to a skirt, knee-high boots, and a Van Halen shirt?" These are all mostly accurate descriptions of actual outfits from the show.

Warner Bros.

My favorite example of the bonkers dress style on Pretty Little Liars is this promo poster which says "Oh we're going to prison? Let me put on my swimsuit and suite jacket." It doesn't take comfort, or a teenage girl's time management skills, or the fact that these teenage girls are not meth addicts, into consideration at all.

Warner Bros.

Literally every single member of the Justice League is a guy in a hoodie that is the same color as his traditional comics costume. Except Cyborg, who is a guy in a hoodie the same color as his traditional costume which also looks completely ridiculous. Are they all really concerned about keeping their hair a secret? But only sometimes, because sometimes they just need to pull down that hood and feel the wind on their follicles.

Warner Bros.

I'm not sure if someone thought hoodies were what all of the young hip kids were wearing these days, or if they really just couldn't afford the thousands of straps and pockets normally required to make a superhero costume, or if there was a guy in the costume design meeting whom they just could not get to stop saying the word "hoodie." Did someone go, "Greg, I swear to god, if you say 'hoodie' one more time, that's all you're getting. Every single Justice League member but Clark is getting a damn- what did you just say, Greg?"

Warner Bros.

Maybe it was a likability issue? I like most hoodies more than I like any of the characters on Smallville. Hoodies are soft and keep me warm, while the characters on Smallville make me feel cold and dead and resentful inside. Honestly, when I look at it that way, maybe there should have been more hoodies in Smallville. Could we replace all of the people in Smallville with talking hoodies? Because that's a show I would totally watch.

Warner Bros.

You can follow Lydia on Twitter.

Don't settle for a terrible costume this Halloween. Not when you can get this dope as hell T-Rex suit you've seen everywhere online. Join the very floppy T-Rex army!

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