5

We Needed a Less-Naughty Pronunciation of "Uranus"

Ahh, good old Uranus. Uranus is the seventh planet from the sun, the only planet whose name is derived from Greek mythology instead of Roman, and really funny to say. Why? Well, it sorta sounds like "your anus." Don't believe me? Just ask Webster.

Remember laughing at that in grade school? I do. Especially when I learned that Uranus was one of the "gas giants."

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"ZOMG, YOUR ANUS IS ONE OF THE GAS GIANTS!!!"

4

The Biggest Sitcom Star of 1952 Couldn't Say "Pregnant" on TV

In 1952, one of the most famous sitcoms of all time, I Love Lucy, aired one of its most famous episodes, in which protagonist Lucy tells her husband that she is pregnant with their most famous child. Lucy and her husband are, y'know, married. The child is his. The child is wanted. There is no reason to believe the baby was conceived as part of some Satanic sex cult ritual, and yet the name of the episode was "Lucy Is Enciente." Why? Because CBS executives thought it was scandalous to say the word "pregnant." They had to go French with it.

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Ironically, sometimes "going French with it" can lead to babies.

3

West Virginia Still Can't Bring Itself to Protect Breast-Feeding

West Virginia is one of only two states that do not protect a mother's right to breast-feed in some way by law. (Indiana is the other, but it's more fun to beat up on West Virginia.) At best, they just have to explain that it's not public indecency. But if you know it's not indecency and it's a life-sustaining act, why not protect it like other states, so that breast-feeding moms can't be kicked off grounds? Sexy, but not indecent? Are you just private about exposed breasts in West Virginia? Something to be kept in the family?

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"Did you just call an entire state incestuous?!"

2

Tweety Bird Was Forced to Wear Clothes to Cover His Whole Wittle Body

Who doesn't love Tweety Bird? Sylvester the Cat, I guess. Kind of a stupid question, but the important point is that we all know Tweety Bird. Even if you're too young to know the Roadrunner, because parents successfully got this "violent" show off the air, you probably saw lots of Tweety Bird cartoons while you waited for the Bugs Bunny episodes.

wikipedia.com
"I tawt I saw you reach for the remote control."

1

White Meat and Dark Meat Came About Because People Couldn't Deal With Saying "Legs" or "Breast"

And speaking of turkey, look at this transition I got going here! There's some debate online about the validity of this assertion, so I tell you what: If you can prove to me that I'm wrong, I will donate all the money you paid for reading this article to the National Society of Correct Chicken Nomenclature. If it is incorrect, it has a lot of support for it being true.

Jim Arbogast/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Much like the female orgasm, only irritating people don't believe in it.

As anyone who's ever eaten chicken knows, the breast has the light meat and the thighs and legs have the dark meat. Oh, I'm sorry, did you all just get wet or erect from reading that last sentence? I apologize, because apparently there was a time when people did. Accordingly, "leg" became "drumstick," "breast" became "white meat," and "thighs" became "dark meat."

If you're less than impressed with the support I have from those links, then congratulations. Perhaps you're not so used to learning information just because it's hyperlinked to you on a screen, but ask yourself a question: Is it hard to believe? Holy cow, we are people who opted to pronounce a planet so it sounds like "urine" just so we didn't have to say "anus," and we did that in the 20th century. Doesn't take a lot to accept the assertion that Victorians didn't want to make a request to gobble up some breast.

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