‘South Park’ Called Trump Satan Right After He Started His Campaign to Get Into Heaven
Everyone knows that Donald “Saddam Hussein” Trump is fucking Satan, but not everyone on the far right is as excited about that fact as Fox News.
Last night, South Park launched yet another explicit and hilarious attack on President Trump and the Republican power structure that enables him to act as a small-dicked Middle-Eastern dictator with the new episode “Wok Is Dead,” in which the “diverse” press corps of Fox News hounded the President and his Season 27 boyfriend for confirmation that “Donald Trump is fucking Satan.”
The return of the on-again-off-again lovers from the early seasons of South Park has allowed the show to not-so-subtly make its stance on the President even more clear as millions of viewers across America laughed at how brilliantly South Park pointed out what many of us already knew: Donald Trump is fucking evil itself.
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Interestingly enough, “Wok Is Dead” comes at a moment of serious concern in the President’s spiritual life. Earlier this week, following what many have speculated to be some sort of health scare, President Trump sent out a mass email to his supporters asking for each of them to send him $15 with the subject line, "I want to try and get into heaven.”
Oh, wait, it's actually $40 now – stupid tariffs.
The bizarre email that Trump voters across America received was part of the Trump campaign’s “24-HOUR TRUMP FUNDRAISING BLITZ,” which is alarming for numerous reasons, not the least of which is the fact that Presidential term limits are codified in the 22nd Amendment — though Trump has never held much regard for the Constitution. But even for the voters who, like Fox News, love that Trump is fucking Satan, the suggestion that Trump is begging for help to secure good standing in the afterlife is concerning, especially because it’s been a major fixation for the Commander-in-Chief for a few weeks now.
Late last month, Trump spoke with Fox & Friends about his efforts to mediate a lasting peace between Russia and Ukraine, saying that he believes his mission is a holy one that could secure him absolution for his many, many sins. “If I can save 7,000 people a week from being killed, I think that’s pretty — I want to try to get to heaven if possible, I’m hearing that I’m not doing well,” Trump said ominously. “I am really at the bottom of the totem pole.”
Trump then added, “But if I can get to heaven, this will be one of the reasons.”
Whether or not Trump is actually dying like half of Twitter hoped this past weekend, clearly, South Park's satanic accusations are coming at a time when the 79-year-old small-dicked dictator is thinking long and hard about his own mortality. Either South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone heard about the spiritual concerns that Trump expressed on Fox & Friends when they wrote “Wok Is Dead,” or the timing on their most damning parody of Trump was nothing short of divine intervention.
In that same interview, Trump postulated, “If I’m good, I’m going to Heaven and if I’m bad, I’m going someplace else — like over there, right?” Presumably, J.D. Vance will have to go with him “over there” when the time comes — after all, someone has to rub baby oil on Satan's asshole.
