Louis C.K. Roasted Shane Gillis for Grifting on Patreon
Louis C.K. wasn’t exactly a beloved comedy figure when he was a 2022 guest on Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast with hosts Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker. But that didn’t stop him from spending hours breaking down the U.S. Presidents — like, all of them — in a massive, four-part history episode. Gillis eventually took a break from discussing “fascinating dude” Lyndon B. Johnson because, in the podcast world, somebody’s got to pay the bills.
“Let’s do this,” Gillis said. “We’re going to read some ads, and then we’re going to switch over to the Patreon for the last part.”
C.K. couldn’t believe it. “Why do you switch?” he asked. “Why are you making them go on Patreon?”
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“That way…”
“That way what?” asked an incredulous C.K. “You need the money?”
Gillis was no longer an up-and-comer at this point, with multiple comedy specials under his belt and a recurring role on Pete Davidson’s Peacock series Bupkis.
“Really? The ads and the Patreon?” C.K. continued. “You’re gonna make them listen to ads and then switch to Patreon?”
“Hold on!” protested Gillis, laughing through his discomfort.
“This is like when I watch a fucking fight on (streaming sports service) DAZN, which I pay for,” Louis complained. “There’s a fucking ad between the rounds! Is it subscription, or is it fucking ads?”
“Holy shit,” replied Gillis, realizing he had three ads to read once C.K. was done with his rant.
C.K. insisted the episode didn’t need to go on Patreon. “You don’t need the money, Shane Gillis!”
But McCusker does, Gillis argued. “Matt’s got a family.”
A disgusted C.K. broke down the math. How much money could this episode bring in on Patreon? “How much, really?”
Gillis gave in and added it up. “If one thousand people join the Patreon, it’s $5 a month.” A thousand times five bucks = $5,000 a month.
Not bad, agreed C.K., but he still had a problem. “You think a thousand people will join your Patreon, 5,000 new people, because of this?”
Gillis continued to giggle nervously as the craven finances were laid bare for his listeners. “I wish you would stop this,” he sincerely told C.K. before surrendering and launching into his required ad read. “Manscaped, the global leaders in below-the-waist grooming, has the best tools for your John Hancock.”
C.K. groaned. “I will pay $5,000 a month,” he said, “to keep this content free.”
It got worse as the Manscaped ad dudes provided copy in a pained imitation of Gillis’ comedy patter. “This is a bit of a nightmare,” Gillis grumbled as he struggled his way through forced jokes like, “Clear your holes with the wiki-wiki-wild weed whacker,” and “Get the most precise shave on your Ulysses S. Gooch.”
“Manscaped,” concluded C.K., “is the President of Unfunny.”
