Entire Species That Had It Out for One Person

Night of the condor — more like nightmare of the condors
Entire Species That Had It Out for One Person

We may be at the top of the food chain, but it’s still an animal kingdom we rule over. We’ve seen what happens when peasants let a monarch forget what happens when sheer numbers go up against authority, so sometimes, animals remind us of that, too — by the dozens, hundreds or even thousands. They also tend to target some rando who didn’t deserve it, because the swarm gods are as arbitrary as they are scary AF.

California Condors Took Over a Woman’s Home

In 2024, a group of about 15 to 20 California condors (that’s about 10 percent of their whole species) descended on a woman’s Tehachapi, California deck and proceeded to go Axl Rose all over it. Specifically, they knocked planters down, tore up her hot tub cover and pooped on everything. (Those hotel managers have stories.) Since the birds are so endangered, there was little more she could do than yell at them or go at them with a hose, so she was stuck with them until the next stop on their tour schedule.

Hundreds of Vaux Swifts Flew Down a Family’s Chimney

California birds are built different, man. The Vaux swift proved that in 2021, when almost 1,000 of them flew down a Torrance family’s chimney and moved in. It’s arguably worse that they weren’t home at the time, meaning “the family came home from dinner to find the flock swarming around inside.” This is apparently something this species is prone to do, though it’s unclear why they chose this particular family, outside of their potentially having angered some trickster god.

Endangered Bats Won’t Leave a Family’s Roof

They may be the fluffy puppies of the sky, but one Saskatchewan family isn’t so fond of bats. In 2022, they started hearing them in their walls and getting surprised by them throughout the house, eventually discovering that a colony of endangered goth squirrels had settled down inside their roof. Unfortunately, the province has strict laws about the relocation of such species, so “I guess we have the bats for life and we’re gonna die here with them,” one of the homeowners sighed in crushing defeat. Their only option is to completely remove the roof, which could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Incidentally, they have a GoFundMe, a link to which we’ll just leave right here.

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