Elmo Asked the Internet How It’s Doing, and the Answer Is Not Great, Elmo
I suppose it’s natural in the year 2024 that beloved Sesame Street character Elmo would have a Twitter account. Even children’s programming is not exempt from self-promotion. Elmo’s gotta get on those crowdwork reels! The problem, however, is attempting to cultivate a kind, relentlessly positive persona on Twitter, a rotting, cavernous patchwork of conversational tunnels from which cries for help constantly echo.
So when Elmo innocently and cheerily asked how everyone was doing, they let him know: Not great, Elmo.
Elmo, you sweet summer child. You aren’t ready for the deluge of angst, frustration and fury you have summoned. Ask Twitter for a trauma dump, and they will happily oblige. I hope that Elmo is prepared for a whole lot of emotional labor. Perhaps, though, this is just Elmo’s final sacrifice for the adults he has raised. Maybe he is an avatar built to bear our burden. A fuzzy, red sin-eater of sorts. If so, the meal set before him is grand.