Jokes That Comics Are Dying to Steal, According to the ‘Good One’ Podcast

The Good One podcast is a must-listen for comedy nerds, featuring comics breaking down one of their iconic jokes. (The recent episode with Paul F. Tompkins dissecting his Peanut Brittle routine is a classic.) In addition to getting under the comedy hood, Good One often asks comics a tantalizing question: If you could steal any joke from anyone ever, and nobody would know and you wouldn’t feel bad about it (so it’s like it’s your joke and has always been your joke), what would it be? 

Vulture recently rounded up a number of comedian responses to that tantalizing query. Our favorite answers are below…

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Kate McKinnon revealed that if she had a magic joke-stealing wand, she’d swipe Sarah Silverman’s witch balls bit. The joke is simple: A guy dunks his testicles into a glass of water, they float, and that’s how Silverman knows the balls are a witch. “That is my favorite joke of all time and will always be my favorite joke,” explained McKinnon. “It is such an unexpected, logical leap, and to say that his balls — plural — were a witch is… It’s just beautiful writing.”

Matt Rogers wouldn’t mind snatching the Titanic iceberg bit from his Las Culturistas co-host Bowen Yang.

One reason Rogers would steal the joke? So he could do his own Titanic bit again, one that he says killed at his SNL audition. The gags aren’t remotely the same — Rogers plays a gay man on the Titanic complaining about his ruined vacation versus Yang becoming the actual iceberg that took down the ship, “but the fact that he got like iconic with the Titanic bit, I was like, Well, I can’t do my Titanic bit anymore.”

Bert Kreischer would be happy pocketing just about any of Dave Attell’s jokes. Like, literally any of them. But there’s one in particular that’s a Kreischer favorite: “Is it just me or does an owl look like an attorney for a parrot?” That observation absolutely kills Kreischer: “Oh my God, that is fucking amazing. I mean, just amazing.”

Chris Gethard would rip off John Mulaney’s Salt and Pepper Diner if he could. “I love (re-)living a good ridiculous moment,” explained Gethard. “And I love shitty teenage troublemaking.” 

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Fortune Feimster found early inspiration in Ellen DeGeneres’ “Footprints in the Sand” routine. Feimster didn’t watch a lot of stand-up when she was growing up, but that joke in particular made an impression. “It was a parable of something that we were all very familiar with,” Feimster explained. “And her, you know, putting that twist on it was so clever. I always appreciate when comics come up with something really clever where you’re like, Oh, that’s a thing we all know, but I’ve never thought about that possibility with it.”

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Craig Robinson wishes he’d come up with Kenan Thompson’s “Hoo-wee! What’s up with that?” 

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“Shout-out, Kenan.”