‘The Office’: Michael Scott Characters Ranked from Most Offensive to Michael Scarn
He goes by many names and exists in many forms. Some may know him as Michael G. Scott, Michael J. Scott, Michael J. Fox, the incredible Mr. Fox, Orville Tootenbacher and even the screen name “Littlekidlover.”
Needless to say, Michael Scott from The Office loves to create aliases and invent new characters, whether it’s something to try out during an improv class or a tool to motivate his Dunder Mifflin employees. Some are delightful in their stupidity, like Secret Agent Michael Scarn, while others are awful stereotypes.
Here are all of Michael Scott’s characters ranked by how offensive they are — from the least threatening to “Threat Level Midnight”...
Agent Michael Scarn
First Appearance: “The Client,” Season 2, Episode 7
Threat Level: Beloved
Character Backstory: Smooth and suave, the character Michael plays in his movie Threat Level Midnight is as if James Bond had a baby with an even sexier James Bond. He’s really just here to have a stiff martini and avenge the wrongful death of his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones Scarn. Unlike every other character on this list, the people around the office love Michael Scarn.
First Appearance: “Golden Ticket,” Season 5, Episode 19
Threat Level: Not Offensive
Character Backstory: When Michael creates a 10 percent off “Golden Ticket Promotion,” he runs with it and takes on a Willy Wonka character. He’s a snappy dresser and has great intentions, but let’s just say that he isn’t always the best at planning or execution. Is he offensive? Nah, he’s really just here to spread joy and laughter to all the little boys and girls in Mifflin Land.
First Appearance: “Murder,” Season 6, Episode 10
Threat Level: Harmless
Character Backstory: Created during a skit played in the Dunder Mifflin offices, Caleb Crawdad is a Southern ladies’ man, a gentleman, possibly a scholar, but definitely not a murderer. Well, okay, he later reveals himself to be a double agent in a standoff with two other double agents (Pam and Dwight).
First Appearance: “Happy Hour,” Season 6, Episode 21
Threat Level: He’s a bad date, but he’s not really that offensive.
Character Backstory: If you’re looking for a bad boy, look no further — Date Mike is now; Date Mike is dangerous. Michael’s “on-a-date” persona thinks he’s a cool dude, but all he really does is alienate the women he’s trying to impress.
Michael the Magic
First Appearance: “Cocktails,” Season 3, Episode 18
Threat Level: Offensive to everyone over the age of 7
Character Backstory: No one likes magicians, of course. But despite that, Michael the Magic is a camp-certified sorcerer, mostly known for his sleight-of-hand and destroyer of illusion. Is he offensive? Only if you think a David Blaine stunt gone wrong at a dinner party is offensive. By the way, if you happen to find a small brass key somewhere, please let him know.
First Appearance: “Weight Loss,” Season 5, Episode 1
Threat Level: He might be mildly offensive to the obese.
Character Backstory: Think of Tony Robbins and add an adolescent manatee to his torso — that’s Michael Klump. He’s large, in charge and ready to motivate you with all the beautiful things in life. Though he may be a hard pill to swallow, Michael Klump is intended to be a celebration of large people, but Michael misses the mark as usual.
First Appearance: “The Seminar,” Season 7, Episode 3
Threat Level: Pretty offensive
Character Backstory: Mykonos is romantic at heart, a lover of women and a connoisseur of goat milk. While he’s little more than a Greek stereotype, there’s also some old-world charm to the guy.
First Appearance: “The Convict,” Season 3, Episode 9
Threat Level: Offensive
Character Backstory: Michael’s “motivational” ex-con persona isn’t such a bad guy, but he ain’t no punk either! He committed a crime that was so high-level the American justice system couldn’t handle it, and he had to be tried with the dark wizards at Hogwarts. Is he offensive? Absolutely, as he’s a moron’s idea of what a prisoner might sound like.
Blind Guy McSqueezy
First Appearance: “The Lover,” Season 6, Episode 7
Threat Level: Very Offensive
Character Backstory: This character is about as offensive as they come. Michael’s blind guy character “fell into avatar acid eyes first” and now insists on feeling everybody around him with his hands. He’s a real problem to have around since he violates the basic kindergarten ethic of keeping one’s hands to themselves.
Martin Luther King Jr.
First Appearance: “Diversity Day,” Season 1, Episode 2
Threat Level: Wildly Offensive
Character Backstory: This one is tricky, but needs mentioning. During Diversity Day, Michael decides to play the part of one of the most important people in American history: Martin Luther King Jr. Although he’s trying to spread a message of tolerance, the sheer audacity of taking on the part at all is seriously cringeworthy.
First Appearance: “The Dundies,” Season 2, Episode 1
Threat Level: Easily the most offensive character in the show
Character Backstory: Ping is a brutally racist stereotype of Asians done by someone who genuinely thinks they’re being funny. The cringe level every Dunder Mifflin employee has toward Ping is totally justified and perfectly illustrates just how clueless and offensive Michael Scott can be.