Report Says Tom Brady Is Delaying His Broadcast Career for Stand-up Comedy: Yes, You Read That Right

Please, Tom, don’t take a pass
Report Says Tom Brady Is Delaying His Broadcast Career for Stand-up Comedy: Yes, You Read That Right

Did you hear the one about the greatest NFL quarterback of all time who delayed his $350 million broadcasting career so he could become a stand-up comedian and win back his supermodel ex-wife? That’s what Radar Online is reporting about Tom Brady, and frankly, that plot sounds a lot funnier than 80 for Brady.

Radar Online quotes several “sources” and “insiders” who swear the story is true, and please God, make this story be true. Apparently, Brady got the idea when his 80 for Brady co-stars Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Rita Moreno told him what a funny boy he was. Hey, those women have a lot of acting hardware — if they say Brady is a yukmaster, why shouldn’t he believe them?

A sports insider agrees! “He does a great impersonation of former teammate Rob Gronkowski, and his over-the-top Boston accent is hilarious,” said sports insider claims. We’re in — a tight 45-minute set of Gronk impressions spiced up with some Masshole jokes sounds like a winning combination.

But hold on, says another “insider.” The octogenarian actresses were “super nice to him and he did a nice job reading professionally written material in a small part — but he’ll be playing in a whole different league if he takes up the stand-up stage.”

Don’t listen to the haters, Tom. It’s not like you need to win Stand-Up of the Year if your comedy can convince Gisele Bündchen to come back. She’s still mad about Brady breaking his promise to spend more time with the family to play more football, says “a source.” And sure, playing for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers requires a lot of time on the practice field, not to mention those road games. But stand-up comedy? There are plenty of clubs in Gisele’s new home of Miami. Do a set at The Comedy Inn, maybe drop by Just the Funny Improv for a scene or two, then home by 11. 

Based on Brady’s jokes, Gisele will be laughing herself back into love. Here’s a zinger he ran by a “Hollywood comedy writer,” according to a “source”: “What did the linebacker say to the flight attendant? Put me in coach!”

If that’s just a taste, we can’t wait to hear Brady work his way through his entire comedy playbook. Insiders say this could be the funniest story of the year.

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