The basic needs for human life are food, water, and shelter. But, given the modern society the vast majority of us live in, food, water, and shelter are all purchased with money. Therefore, the basic need in human life is now money. This is unfortunate, as the main way to get money is to work, an activity that is roundly despised outside of people who are mattress testers or puppy huggers or whatever. Plus, in order to get the really good jobs, at least in theory, you have to go to college, which requires a massive amount of money, or, if you don’t have that, for you to borrow it, which means you’ll spend a good chunk of your life with negative money. Not a great spread of options, to be honest.

Reddit

Reddit user Dim0ndDragon15 has run up against this very conundrum, asking “What are my options outside of college to make a ton of money?” A question that I think most of us can relate to, college education or not. The desire for a ton of money is fairly universal. With that in mind, I have come up with 5 ways to make a ton of money, none of which require any college education. Read below and then send me a postcard from Tulum!

Give Me, A Nigerian Prince, $500

Pixabay

This one is simple and easy. You see, I am in possession of a large fortune but it is tied up in different bank accounts. In order for me to transfer my big time amount of money I need only a small amount of money from you. Five hundred dollars should suffice. I will, of course, pay this money back–tenfold, in fact! Once I have access to my vast fortune again, you will be well compensated for your assistance. Please do not ask me any further questions about specifics of my bank or fortune situation as I am both distraught by the inconvenience and also very busy with day-to-day prince activities. Thank you!

Make Your Own Money

Pixabay

Look, money isn’t REAL, man. It simply exists as an agreed upon representation of value so that people don’t have to trade each other cows anymore. It’s just pulp and colored dyes. So what’s to stop you from creating your OWN currency? One that you can print as much of as you want? It’s not counterfeiting because it’s your currency, so by nature you’ve approved of you making it. Do you follow? Now, of course you’re going to have a long road ahead convincing other people and Target cashiers that your money has intrinsic value, but once you do? You’re practically the king of your own little sovereign nation. 

Strike Oil On The Family Land

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Simply head out into the old pastures behind the farm and dig down at a couple spots until you see the tip of your shovel glistening with that sweet, sweet crude. Then you’ve hit it big, son! You’ve received a plentiful gift under the land, a flowing river of black gold! All your problems are solved, all your prayers have been answered! Finally we can pay for Mama’s surgery, and get a new truck, one that turns on without coaxin’! Oh, we’ve made it now. I’m buying myself a pair of snakeskin boots so fresh you can hear ‘em rattle and a cowboy hat so big a bat could roost in it!

Win The Lottery

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In terms of immediate windfall, it is hard to beat winning the lottery. For the measly price of one little ticket, you could find yourself a millionaire in a matter of seconds. By far, the most difficult part of winning the lottery is having all the right numbers on your ticket. Without a time machine, picking all the right numbers when you don’t know what they’re going to be is tough. That’s why you have to buy LOTS of tickets. It increases your chances! 

The more tickets you buy, the better the odds that you win! Now, if you’re buying enough tickets that you have REALLY good odds, you might notice that you are actually spending a lot of money. This is a “now” problem, and we’re looking towards the future, ok? Those ticket costs won’t matter when you hit the Powerball. You have to believe, ok? Don’t get your bad negative energy on my tickets, man.

Invent Computers

Pixabay

The computer, at this point, is an essential and integral part of our civilization. It’s a needed piece of technology for almost anyone looking to participate in modern society. Which means there is huge DEMAND for computers. Therefore, the person who invented computers would be making an absolute butt-ton of money. And there’s no reason that the person who invented computers can’t be you! Sure, it’s not EASY, inventing computers. They’re tricky, and filled with electricity. But the pay-off is worth the risk here. Once you figure out the right combination of stuff to put in that box to be able to turn it on, you’re in the money!

Now, I realize the issue that a lot of you are going to point out here: they said they didn’t want to go to college, and how the hell are they going to invent computers without a college education? Well, I’d argue that unconventional, outside the box thinking, that comes from a life lived, and not academic study, is exactly the kind of thing that would help you invent computers. There’s more to inventing computers than books and numbers, ok? Inventing computers is a FEELING. It’s almost like the computer invents YOU.

Well, there are my top 5 ways to get super rich. If you get rich off of any of these methods, please let us know in the comments, and please give me five thousand dollars.

Top Image: Reddit/Pexels

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