Give That Vitality A Boost, Huh?

This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Have you ever gotten home after a long day of work (or moved from your bed to the couch) and thought, "Man, my chi is completely out of alignment"? If you don’t know what chi is, maybe you just feel a little glum, exhausted, and out of whack sometimes. This is late-stage capitalism -- you must feel like that 70% of the time.

If you need to put some pep back in your step, allow us to introduce you to the Vitality Swing: Chi Swing Machine. This machine is designed to help you relax and stimulate recovery to contribute to your overall health. Basically, it’ll chill you the eff out.

The machine offers an accessible form of passive exercise, using a powerful 40W motor and padded vinyl ankle cradles to stimulate muscle contractions, boost oxygen in the blood, and loosen your spine for improved mobility and mental health. It comes with a remote control that lets you adjust the speed of the unit without moving from your comfortable little cocoon, so it really requires, like, no effort at all.

Chi swing machines are often used by people with chronic muscle and nerve pain because of the circulation stimulation they provide, but they're also extremely valuable for anybody who just needs a little help improving energy flow through the body. (That’s the chi, FYI.) The multipurpose machine is a simple way to give you a light workout while promoting overall health. It can even stimulate the lymphatic system to clear excess fluids out of the body, making it a great tool for post-workout recovery, if you're into that sort of thing.

Get your chi in alignment or just have a nice little lie-down. You can get the Vitality Swing: Chi Swing Machine for 28% off $350 at $249.99 today.

Prices are subject to change.