One Of The Best ‘Star Trek’ Stories Ever Was A Porno

In case you’ve been busy wasting your time by going outdoors or seeing friends, you might not realize that there are currently more Star Trek shows on TV than ever before; Strange New Worlds, Picard, Discovery um, whatever this is …

But only a decade ago, there were precisely zero Star Trek shows on TV. Fortunately, that hole was filled (innuendo intended) by the adult film industry, with 2011’s Star Trek: The Next Generation - A XXX Parody. Even though the bar for Star Trek-related pornography was limbo-levels of low (1990’s Sex Trek: The Next Penetration finds the crew journeying to Uranus and encountering “a race of beautiful but awful-smelling women”) the “parody” went to great, surprisingly sincere efforts in its attempt to capture the spirit of the original show. 

The plot of the faux-episode, in which the Enterprise discovers late crew member Tasha Yar alive and well, impressed fans with its deep-cut references to past Trek lore; it’s basically a sequel to the episode “Yesterday’s Episode.” The production even hired a “professional Patrick Stewart impersonator” from England to play Captain Picard. The whole thing (available on YouTube in a censored version) basically functions as a top notch fan film with the occasional intergalactic mating ritual thrown in. 

Writer-director Sam Hain (we’re guessing that’s not his real name) reportedly “came up with a TNG story that he wanted to tell” first, and only then added in the sex scenes – but even they are, to some extent, motivated by Star Trek canon; including the re-coupling of Tasha Yar and Data, and the revival of Geordi LaForge’s wildly problematic relationship with a holographic replica of his real life colleague. 

The story works so well, one fan even created a completely sex-free remake of the film, using only a camera, action figures, and the most time anyone has ever had on their hands in the history of the universe. 

And, most impressively, absolutely nobody involved in any of these projects turned the story into an elaborate 9/11 Truther allegory. 

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter! 

Thumbnail: Digital Sin