We Can't Believe This Dumb Movie is Real: ‘2025’
There are obviously a lot of unknowns in the world right now, but we can say with relative certainty that public health measures requiring, say, wearing a mask from time to time will probably not lead to a sweeping wave of fascism followed by a strict worldwide ban on worshipping Jesus. Nevertheless, that’s exactly the premise of last year’s 2025 - The World Enslaved By a Virus, starring, co-written, and co-directed by German YouTube pastor Joshua Wesely, seen here removing his face mask as if it were the ultimate act of badassery.
The rare movie to score a 1.1/10 on IMDb, 2025 is immediately terrible. We’re talking seconds into the movie, things go off the rails and land in a burning dumpster full of soiled adult diapers. The opening text provides some context for the chilling dystopia we’re about to enter, claiming that in the year 2025 the “world as we have known in 2020 does not exist anymore” because the “virus changed the world.” How? Well …
Yup, communism is “all over the place,” the joint is just lousy with communism – and if that wasn’t bad enough, the new “global state” has banned … meetings?
Also illegal: Christianity. Enter our hero, Roy, who gets arrested by the cops for carrying a Bible and hauled down to what appears to be a police interrogation-themed escape room. At which point Roy emotionally pines for the days when restaurants were open, and life was “worth living” because the world was full of “peace, love, and ice cream.” Because as we all know, vaccine mandates are a slippery slope that will inevitably lead to ice cream bans.
In a flashback, we see that Roy’s big plan for reviving Christianity is to spray paint the Jesus fish symbol around town – until his friend is gunned down by a cop for doing so.
All of this probably makes this movie sound more exciting than it is, considering that most of it takes place in an Ikea-furnished basement apartment.
These poor, pious folks even have to celebrate Christmas in secret – you know, the notoriously unpopular holiday of Christmas? In the end, this straight white guy, who is also somehow the most persecuted human on Earth, perseveres by producing a webcast, kind of making it seem like this entire movie was just a misguided advertisement for the director’s YouTube channel.
And at the very end, he gets taken out to the woods and shot in the head.
We haven’t even mentioned the romantic subplot starring Wesely’s real-life girlfriend, who, incidentally, just turned 18. Yeah. At least we now know what it would be like Tommy Wiseau made a sci-fi movie based on a Chick tract.
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Top Image: Wesely Bros