Further proving that intellectual properties are just golden rings to be mindlessly gobbled up by the Sonic the Hedgehog that is Hollywood, Fox recently announced it has purchased the rights to Gumby. Yeah, you know Gumby, everyone’s favorite decades-old claymation character who isn’t a singing raisin?

Reportedly Fox has big plans for the flexible green … thing. There are going to be new Gumby animated programs, live-action content, and, of course, Gumby NFTs for those of you concerned that NFTs aren’t quite useless enough already. This ain't your grandpa’s Gumby though, because apparently, the studio will “reimagine” the character – hopefully as, like, a cantankerous orange cat who loves lasagna or something.

But, as pointed out by comedian and noted suit enthusiast Paul F. Tompkins, the original Gumby series was weird as hell.

Literally, the second episode of the show found Gumby traveling into some kind of parallel universe and meeting his terrifying mirror world doppelgangers decades before David Lynch broke into the industry.

And it’s not like the franchise got more cohesive and sensical as the years progressed; from what we can tell, the last piece of official Gumby-related entertainment was 1995’s Gumby: The Movie in which Gumby throws a benefit concert to save local farms … so basically just Farm Aid, but with Gumby instead of Willie Nelson and his buddies. And the end of the movie finds Gumby lightsaber dueling with his robotic clone – what is it with this guy and constantly confronting his evil shadow self?

Sure, Gumby deserves a spot in the pantheon of children’s animation, but do we really need to see him revived via corporate crypto schemes and as some kind of CGI character that, let’s be honest, will inevitably be voiced by Chris Pratt?

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Top Image: Clokey Films

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