How 'The Bachelorette' Is Turning Into 'Survivor'
There aren't too many more famous maxims from The Bachelor franchise than "I'm not here to make friends," but if week 4 of this season's The Bachelorette taught us anything, it is that you absolutely need to make friends if you want to last on this show. It hasn't always been this way. We've seen deep playoff runs and final four appearances from notable Bachelor-verse Villians like Nick Viall and Corinne Olympios - contestants that were despised by their housemates - and whose awful standing within the house had little bearing on the outcome.
But we're in a different era now, and the past week's episode has proved it. Thomas got booted from the house (as we predicted), and while the official reason was that it was because he wanted to be the next Bachelor and that he was, as Katie put it, "selfish, unkind, and a liar" ...
... Thomas's greatest folly was that he was a frontrunner who didn't make enough friends in the house.
Katie seemed to be on her way to putting Thomas' transgression of last week (admitting to wanting to maybe, possibly, trying to think of wanting to be the next Bachelor) behind her ... Then the rest of the house went Lord of the Flies on Thomas's ass, with Tre and then Josh, Andrew M., Christian, and Connor C. all teaming up to tell Katie Thomas might be impure of heart. As opposed to themselves, who definitely won't be seeking out a Muscle Milk sponsorship for their Instagrams when this is all said and done.
In seasons past, this would have never worked. It used to be that snitches got stitches on this show, and ratting someone out to the lead would inevitably lead to getting yourself canned sooner rather than later. But it seems the castmates have found the workaround to this rule. If you team up and spread the snitching blame around, you can knock anyone you want out of the competition without facing repercussions. We've already seen it happen this season with Karl and, if previews are to be believed, we may soon see it again with Hunter and/or Blake.
This game is no longer just The Bachelor(ette). It is Survivor, and, at any point, the tribe may vote you off the island just for being too disliked. We guess you have to be "here to make friends" after all.
Other takeaways from Week 4:
If you were wondering what Greg's awful dirty talk was about where he said, "I'd like to bend you over a barrel and show you all 50 states," that's a reference to Horrible Bosses:
However, it was all … we'll call it improv when Greg started listing off the states in an effort to be seductive. That part didn't come from the movie and based on Katie's reaction, maybe for a good reason. Sorry Greg, but listing off states sounds like you're reciting a song from grade school, and if you're going to go that route to try and get in someone's pants, well, "Conjunction Junction" is the much better choice for obvious reasons.
Follow Dan on Twitter to learn more about his upcoming projects and find him on his podcast The Bachelor Zone to hear him talk about The Bachelor like it is a sport. (Because it is.)
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