To learn more about how food will function in space, why not start with the most useful staple: wine. For a total of 438 days starting in 2019, 12 bottles of wine lingered in the International Space Station, aging away. They made their epic return back earlier this year, aboard a SpaceX Dragon cargo spacecraft. And now they are here for Earthlings to try, but only if you’re absolutely loaded. (The money kind of loaded, not the drunk kind … until you buy it.)

The wine named Petrus, a Merlot from Bordeaux in the South of France, was the lucky contender for the ride, sourced from a well-known winery in Pomerol named Chateau Petrus. After two short days from Virginia, the wine arrived safely in the hands of Buzzed Lightyear. Space has been known to decrease muscle mass in humans and temporarily increase height due to the amazing power called “lack of gravity.” So scientists have created this experiment in the hope that they’ll be able to see how wine ages when in a new environment, as wine is very dependent on its climate for its tannins and acids to mature and evolve, enhancing its flavors. 

The intergalactic booze drink has been sold at Christie’s (the auction site, not your friend's wine aunt). The drink typically sells for $6,000, a hefty chunk of change for old grape juice, but the space version is estimated to go for nearly $1,000,000 -- so $999,998 more than a bottle of Two Buck Chuck. But with that said, it does come with a corkscrew created from a meteorite, presenting a rich someone the opportunity to become an astro asshole.

Christie's Auction House

Now that we know we’ll never taste this wine, we can at least imagine the flavors that have been to infinity and beyond (and back) thanks to those who were lucky enough to indulge in it. The character of the drink has been described as smoky and floral, and that its “adventure above the stratosphere added about two to three years' maturity to the drink." 

With this new discovery in place, Christies (your friend's wine aunt, not the auction site) everywhere can only hope they’ll get a taste at least once in their lives. Some will die trying, with blood all over their “It’s Wine-O-Clock t-shirts.” Now might be a good time to remind everybody that wine tasting is generally BS.  

For more of Oona’s sarcasm and attempted wit, visit her website oonaoffthecuff.com.

Top Image: Christie's Auction House

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