Amazon Buys MGM Studios Because Of Course They Did

Reader, have you ever sat down to rewatch James Bond's Casino Royale and found yourself wondering "wow, if only Daniel Craig was kicking a terrorist-funding banker's ass in a game of high-stakes poker at a Whole Foods salad bar?" Did you find yourself fantasizing about a version of Rocky in which our titular hero carried two boldly branded Amazon Fresh bags in hand while sprinting up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum Of Art? Have you ever wished the official greeting of The Handmaid's Tale was “under his Prime?”

Well, folks, it seems these extremely common, almost universally experienced corporation-specific fantasies may soon become a reality. On Wednesday, the e-commerce/streaming/video game/food delivery/at this point any item or experience you could ever possibly want giant announced that they would be putting their billions to good use, using the money they saved by not paying their fair share of taxes for four years to purchase Hollywood staple, MGM Studios, for roughly $8.45 billion, CNBC reported. The company's second-largest brand purchase, coming in behind the e-retailers 2017 acquisition of infamously overpriced grocery chain, Whole Foods, for approximately $13.7 billion, the company says they are looking to use the company's famed filmmaking talents and broad IP catalog to help boost their in-house production studio, Amazon Studios.

“The real financial value behind this deal is the treasure trove of IP in the deep catalog that we plan to reimagine and develop together with MGM’s talented team,” explained Mike Hopkins, who is Amazon Studios and Prime Video's senior vice president. “It’s very exciting and provides so many opportunities for high-quality storytelling.”

While MGM's extensive library includes several beloved properties including James Bond, 2018's A Star is Born, The Handmaid's Tale, and the absolute cinematic masterpiece that is Legally Blonde, there is one caveat – bringing 007 to the world of streaming may pose a challenge. As NBC News noted, the franchise which is co-owned by Eon Productions, a film company controlled by the heirs of Albert Broccoli, who was known for producing some of James Bond's many films. Considering the Broccolis (not to be confused with the Cauliflowers OR  filmmaking genius/streaming curmudgeon Christopher Nolan, in this case) are outspoken about the famous spy only appearing on the big screen, creating a streaming series surrounding Bond may be tricky (read: require a LOT of bribery money).

So, folks, it seems the streaming wars are getting even more intense. If we thought Keeping up with the Kardashians was hard enough, try Keeping Up with the Konglomerates.

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