Why The New Grindelwald Needs to Be Hot

Johnny Depp was recently asked to resign from his position as Gellert Grindelwald in the Fantastic Beasts series several years too late, and fans rejoiced half-heartedly as appropriate. It's great news on a couple of levels. Not only can the series cast off the unsavory stench of associating with a known abuser, but they can also actually cast someone who's right for the part, which Depp never was.

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Maybe Johnny Depp in his prime could have swayed the wizarding world over to magic fascism, but not Johnny Depp today, and certainly not Johnny Depp today after soaking his entire head in bleach. Now there's talk of the role going to Mads Mikkelsen, who seems like a perfectly nice and talented guy. He's certainly closer to the Aryan god described in the books, so at least he won't need any weird contacts or dye jobs.

But there's an elephant in this room the size of a basilisk: Grindelwald needs to be hot. Hot enough to have seduced a young Dumbledore, presented as a beacon of all that's good and righteous, however dubiously, to the dark side. Definitely hotter than Dumbledore himself, who is already played by Jude Law, so that's a tall order.

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Deranged Billy Idol never cut it, but the guy who played the accountant in "Bitch Better Have My Money" doesn't, either. That sexual tension is crucial to the conflict between the two characters, and Hannibal Lecter, as charismatic as he is, just isn't inspiring any boners, magical or otherwise. Not for nothing, but if Warner Bros. is looking to earn themselves some goodwill after the Johnny Depp controversy and the entire mess that is J.K. Rowling, writing a makeout scene for Jude Law and Brad Pitt could go a long way.

Top image: Warner Bros.

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