Because giant corporations think kids are extremely stupid, comic books are often used in an attempt to trick children into reading long-form advertisements. Like the time Ronald McDonald terrorized children in a flying hamburger, or when Mickey Mouse starred in a comic all about how super-awesome the Exxon oil company is. Now the same approach is being used to sell streaming services.

While we're yet to get an American Splendor-style graphic novel about the depressing day-to-day life of an anthropomorphized version of Quibi, there are now three free comics all about HBO Max-themed superheroes. Launched by DC Comics with writing and artwork by ... whichever writers and artists DC Comics like the least, To the Max features three new heroes, Hector, Brian, and Olivia, who get superpowers from a magic dog named "Max" -- presumably after running over a cat named "Go."

MAX, BUT you MUGT HAVE AN OWNER WHO'S LDD-- BZZZ Bzzz -'41cHS I'D MuCH RATHER HANG WITH you XDU
DC Comics

The dog leaves behind some kind of magic remote control that looks like an oversized feminine razor.

uT ar LAT BBLAE THI4 ONE LCET ANWER ANALTMAN MAN ER0 Ne PEET UO ON AL t l W4Ay HA
DC Comics

The comics are crammed full of vague references to HBO Max's content, which the comics seemingly don't have the rights to actually reproduce. Which is why one scene is set in "Gunther's" coffee shop, which serves cosmos for some reason.

ouinther' HEY, BRIAN. WHAT CAN T GET you? I GUESS...
DC Comics

ILL AVE waT NE'E HAVING? MART coCE. mie FRENAN. TOOKK THE LAETY ORDELING ue a sOuND co4404 ARG MAKNG A COMERACK. HY 0 LAU you PACD IGT ceeTi ONING INS
DC Comics

The first issue even ends with the protagonist curling up with his family to watch HBO Max. Possibly because these comics are set on Earth 2, where Netflix doesn't exist.

SORRY epomoyk I'M LATEI DID you GUYS CAT27 We DIDI I WIGH you' HAVE CALLED WE COULD HAVE WAITER NO WORRIES THAT'4 ON ME
DC Comics

Which is awkward, pandering nonsense. Even the time DC partnered with KFC to help sell greasy globs of breaded chicken turned out way better than this. If DC really wanted to make a bold new comic book, what about a story in which HBO Max's superheroes use their newfound powers to travel back in time to the year 1939 and prevent Gone with the Wind from ever being made? Still, at least this is going to hold up better than the Justice League teaming up with Jared from Subway ...

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Top Image: DC Comics


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