This contains possible spoilers for No Time to Die
We still have a while to wait for the new Bond movie No Time to Die, which is set to come out in November, either in movie theatres or, if that's still not a possibility, maybe Daniel Craig can just describe it in detail on Instagram Live. Even though most of us haven't seen the film yet, certain plot details are leaking. One particularly rumor that's currently circulating the internet: James Bond is going to be a dad.
While it's unlikely that the new movie will find 007 simply building IKEA bunk beds and enduring countless hours of PAW Patrol, according to reports, he will have a five-year-old daughter with Dr. Swann, his love interest from Spectre. The anonymous source who leaked this news elaborated that Bond's newfound dad-ness "is the one thing fans would never expect." Yeah, except it's not ...
Pairing our action heroes with some adorable kid has become a distinct trend for franchises in recent years; from Wolverine in Logan, to Tony Stark in Avengers: Endgame, to the titular bounty hunter in The Mandalorian. So it's only natural that Bond becomes the next series to take the Cop and a Half route.
It's also not surprising from a story perspective that Bond has a kid seeing as how the dude's never used a condom in his entire friggin' life. He probably has hundreds of kids he's never met spread throughout the globe. Bond is the Screamin' Jay Hawkins of international super spies. But it's especially not surprising for anyone that grew up in the '90s, because we were exposed to a little show called James Bond Jr.
Technically the show was about Bond's "nephew" but come on guys, you're not fooling anyone; the main character was literally named James Bond Jr., and Bond has no parents or siblings. This series was totally about Bond's illegitimate son and his (uncomfortably racist) adventures.
Top Image: MGM