PS5 Event Will Show Off The New Games (You Can’t Afford To Play)

But how will we know what's good without a raucous E3 crowd of Sony employees cheering their own work?
PS5 Event Will Show Off The New Games (You Can’t Afford To Play)

After getting pushed back, thanks to racism's insistence on sticking around and vowing to be an even worse house guest from now on, Sony's grand PS5 game reveal show, (aka just a giant commercial for video games) will finally go down tomorrow, 6/11 at 3 pm EST. Every other time zone can do the math their damn selves.

So what great games will you be able to play in several years since you won't be getting a PS5 any time soon since insiders say the PS5 will launch at a price point somewhere between a few months of rent and however much money it takes for the braces to regain control of your kid's war zone of a mouth? Rumors suggest everything from a new mainline Resident Evil game to a sequel to 2018's God of War sequel/reboot. Maybe even a graphically boosted Demon Souls remake/remaster or a sequel to Horizon: Zero Dawn. If we're lucky, we'll get a third Knack game. PlayStation fanboys cannot get enough of that beloved guy that looks like a steampunk Ganondorf.

BOI Only On PlayStation. KTACK FEMN1H 10: 2891 ET soti ot
That was a lie, by the way. No one likes these games and Knack can suck it.

Despite the prominent display of the PS5 controller in the event's ad, Sony says the whole thing will be an exclusive showcase only for the games you'll be able to on the PS5 at some point. So, don't go into it, expecting to see the actual console. If you're eager to see it, you can use your imagination to extrapolate from the controller image below ...

PS5 Event Will Show Off The New Games (You Can’t Afford To Play)

... that the PS5 will probably be a deeply uninteresting white box (?!?!) signaling that Playstation is coming for "Apple, but uglier" street corner that Xbox abandoned.

Just let us know if Venom is in Spider-Man 2 (also, announce Spider-Man 2).

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Catch him on the "In Broad Daylight" podcast with Cracked alums Adam Tod Brown and Ian Fortey! Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's and his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. Listen to the first episode on Youtube!

Top Image: Sony

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