It's actually happening, you guys. The much-ballyhooed "Snyder Cut" of Justice League will finally see the light of day -- or at least the dimly-lit corridors of perpetual night. Director Zack Snyder announced that his director's cut will be released on the new streaming service HBO Max sometime in 2021, thanks to the tireless efforts of passionate fans who wouldn't shut-up about this goddamn movie for three years. They launched petitions, erected billboards, and even designed custom bed sheets for people who really hate having sex with other human beings.
Famously, Snyder's movie was heavily re-written and re-shot by Joss Whedon, resulting in the 2017 crapfest most of us have flushed from our memories by now. So Warner Bros. is spending between $20 and $30 million to let Snyder finish this unfinished product, which is reportedly almost four hours long. Naturally, the internet movie discourse machine is full of opinions, like do we really want studios capitulating to the incessant demands of an often toxic (but occasionally charitable) fandom? And was anyone's problem with Justice League that it ended two hours too soon? Would it be funnier if it turned out to be super bad or super good?
While we won't know exactly what the Snyder Cut will entail, we'd like to propose that it will fix at least one problem with the finished movie -- two if you count Superman's fucked up mouth. In Batman's introductory scene (which, according to actor Holt McCallany was one of Whedon's), the Dark Knight captures a random burglar, then takes a call from Alfred in which he refers to Alfred by name ... out loud ... in front of said criminal.
Which seems kind of crazy because Bruce Wayne famously has a butler named Alfred, so how could this goon not connect the dots? This may seem kind of nit-picky, but it was pretty weird to see the world's greatest detective blow his secret identity for literally no reason like four minutes into the movie. It presumably, won't happen in The Snyder Cut. Then again, this new edit is still coming from the filmmaker behind Sucker Punch, that cartoon about talking owls, and a scene in which Holly Hunter drinks a mason jar full of piss before exploding to death.
Top Image: Warner Bros.