Portland Now Has Hot Dystopian Stripper Food Delivery
Taking a break from brewing craft beer, craft coffee, and craft right-wing rallies, the city of Portland has given us what may very well be the best defining photos of the coronavirus pandemic.
It looks like a scene from Fallout: Horny. Those are dancers from the Lucky Devil Lounge, and until all *gestures vaguely at the outdoors* this happened, it was a perfectly functional strip club. However, when folks in Oregon started staying home, the dancers noticing a sharp decline in business. The state of Oregon went to an "essential businesses only" policy pretty soon after.
Luckily, Portland is nothing if not full of creativity. After club owner Shon Boulden jokingly tweeted wondering if it would be a good idea to convert to a food delivery service, he got a surprisingly positive response. Completely ignoring the old rule of "don't eat the food from a strip club," Boulden went ahead and started "Boober Eats." Uber Eats, not giving a single shit about the $1800 worth of t-shirts bearing that name that Boulden had printed up, hit him with a cease-and-desist. Boulden knew there were bigger fish (and other culinary options) to fry than fighting Uber in court, so he changed the name to "Food 2 Go-Go" and kept the show go-going.
While initially just for delivery, there's also now a drive-thru dinner and a show deal. For $30 (plus the cost of food, of course), you can pull up in your car, observe a socially distanced dance to approximately one full song, get some food, and pull out so the next group of cars can come through. Bouncers are there to double down on the social distancing aspect, which is as vital as ever in a burlesque club environment. They've even done some prize giveaways, which have included little marijuana samples and, here's the big one, rolls of toilet paper.
Sure, it's not the same arrangement, and business isn't booming quite so much as it used to, but hey, girls in fishnets and gas masks are probably somebody's kink. Maybe they keep this going even after things return to normal and start attracting a food critic or two.
Top Image: frenk16/Pixabay