Bill De Blasio Is The Dumbest Man In NYC

For as oft praised as New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has been in his handling of the coronavirus (and boy is he getting praised), New York City mayor Bill De Blasio has been the Bizzaro Cuomo. De Blasio has bungled his way through the entire epidemic having frequently discounted and underestimated the scope of COVID-19. It's as if he's having a stupid competition with Donald Trump and, while we don't know who's winning, we do know that New York City, with over 58,000 confirmed COVID19 cases and counting, is losing the big-ly-est.

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"If you're under 50 and you're healthy, which is most New Yorkers, there's very little threat here." - A thing only an idiot would say. And, also, the Mayor of New York City.

"There was a "misperception" that the disease "hangs in the air waiting to catch you. No, it takes direct person-to-person contact." - Something only an extremely uninformed person would believe about Coronavirus. And, also, the moron running New York City.

De Blasio has given the public health crisis ravaging his city the kind of attention to detail you'd give to an old episode of Frasier while your face was on fire. He has only recently learned that that virus can spread through people who are asymptomatic -- despite the rest of society already knowing that for weeks, if not months. He went to the Park Slope YMCA hours after Governor Cuomo announced gyms would close, something his own friends and advisors called "inexcusable." He has been late to close playgrounds. He has been late to stop street sweeping. He wears cargo shorts to the gym. Okay, that last one has nothing to do with the pandemic, but he deserves shit for it all the same.

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"These pockets are great for holding my extra bullshit."

We're not saying De Blasio is solely de-blame-io. But he really de-blows at his job right now and even this awful pun format we just thought up is doing little to curb the frustration. So if you live in New York City maybe call up his office and leave a voicemail letting him know that you expect better out of a mayor from the biggest city in America. But most of all, don't forget to dunk on him for wearing cargo shorts to the gym, because pandemic or not -- That's fucking weird, man.

Top image: Bill De Blasio/Wiki Commons

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