The "manly central issue too slight to grip" means a small penis, while "knotted banana toes" means Morrisey thinks writing is accomplished by threatening a thesaurus. But all the attention placed on the "deltoid deities" and "phenomenally top-heavy and modernly unfashionable" women making sex at each other distracted from the book's many, many other issues. It doesn't appear to have been edited, even for typos, leaving us absolutely no idea what this next extract means.
"The bullet of Justy as a hell-driver flyer with a disciplined land into Dibbs' dry hand, and the new corner man faced the home straight with power-hitter grunts and Bunkie pluck as the bilge-free body speedballed with stirred stumps to beat the devil with scorch and sizzle and unfortunate dribble and snappy like crazy he somersaulted with pitching motion into a ferocious belly-flop tumble of a sprawled pratfall -- face to the gravel, each limb slithered like snowslide subsidence."
It's like if Finnegans Wake smoked meth. At this point we should note that Morrisey's description of the books opens with "Beware the novelist... intimate and indiscreet...," ripping off every 23-year-old man getting a MFA who thinks drinking too much whiskey is a personality. But now, one more sentence for your reading pleasure.
"In the church of secret service known as the abattoir this is exactly what humans excitedly do to beautiful bodies of animals who were also crafted in care by some divine creationist, yet at the human hand the animals are whacked and hacked into chopped meat whilst gazing up at their protector with disbelief and pleading for a mercy not familiar to the human spirit, ground and round into hash or stew for the Big Mac pleasure of fat-podge children whose candidature for roly-poly vicious porkiness makes their plungingly plump parents laugh loudly, as little junior blubber-guts orders yet another Super-burger with tub-of-guts determination to stuff death into round bellies, and such kids come to resemble their parents as ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag."
30 Comments