Sadly, Natalie Portman Won't Wear A Diaper In Her New Movie

No one even bothered to see if Depends would pay for product placement?
 Sadly, Natalie Portman Won't Wear A Diaper In Her New Movie

People don't often complain about the lack of adult diapers in cinema. After all, it's hard to imagine any movie being improved by the suggestion that the protagonist is casually relieving themselves before our very eyes. Amazingly, though, Natalie Portman's new movie, Lucy In The Sky (which recently premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival) is being criticized for its conspicuous lack of poopy pants. And for good reason.

Lucy In The Sky is loosely based on the story of astronaut Lisa Nowak -- obviously, her name has been changed, presumably for legal reasons, and to shoehorn a Beatles reference into the title and trick boomers into buying tickets. Nowak was famously arrested in 2007 for assaulting her ex-lover's girlfriend. But the detail most of us remember is that in order to save time on the drive between Houston and Orlando, Nowak allegedly used NASA-issued "maximum-absorption garments" instead of making pit stops. Even if you Google "Lisa Nowak," the first word that shows up in autocomplete is "diaper." Imagine travelling to outer space, only to be remembered primarily for this.

Google a lisa nowak Q lisa nowak Q lisa nowak dlaper

Incidentally, Nowak later denied wearing any diaper on her drive. Now, despite society's blatant obsession with the more scatological elements of this story, director Noah Hawley has opted not to include any diapers in the movie, specifying "That detail just didn't fit into the story." Meaning that if you want to see a Hollywood movie in which the star wears a diaper, your best bet is to wait and see how Indiana Jones handles the realities of adventuring in exotic locations while well into his late 110s.

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