6 Celebrity Beefs That Will Instantly Make You Feel Smarter
Celebrities! They're just like us. They tweet too much, they give terrible advice to anyone who will listen, and they engage in ill-advised arguments with their peers. Of course, being larger than life themselves, they manage to add a little extra flair to their arguments. Like the time ...
Marilyn Manson And Justin Bieber Fought Over A T-Shirt
When we think of music beefs, we think of Tupac vs. Biggie, Neil Young vs. Lynyrd Skynyrd, Slipknot vs. Nickelback -- you know, the truly iconic rivalries between people competing for similar audiences. But every once in a while, you come across a real head-scratcher. Like that time Marilyn Manson felt slighted by Justin Bieber, of all people.
It all started in 2017, after the controversial pop star approached the controversial shock rocker, requesting permission to "repurpose" Manson's band's old merch.
He didn't want to simply wear an altered T-shirt, mind you. All the laws of basic decency and good taste couldn't stop him from doing that. He wanted to sell the shirts, which were confusingly modified to add "Bieber" to the declaration "Bigger Than Satan" on the back. It doesn't take a deep knowledge of either the music industry or copyright law to figure that Bieber wouldn't be able to get away with that without signing a generous contract with the other party. But Manson decided to get more out of the deal by starting the most baffling one-sided feud in music history.
In an embarrassingly childish interview following the incident, Manson said that Bieber "was [already] wearing the shirt that had his name on my shirt, and he said to me, 'I made you relevant again.'" Just to remind us of how much of a tough guy he is, Manson added, "Bad mistake to say to me ... He was a real touchy-feely guy, too, like, 'yo yo bro!' and touches you when he's talking. I'm like, 'You need to stand down, you're dick height on me, OK?'" To cement the impression that he needs to one-up someone who was barely an adult, Manson laughed about how he'd jokingly told Bieber he'd stop by an upcoming concert to jam, and Bieber "believed that I'd show up, because he was that stupid."
We don't often feel sorry for Justin Bieber, but according to texts Manson subsequently shared during an interview with Howard Stern, the poor guy felt genuinely hurt and confused. Unless he was being seriously two-faced and trying to gaslight Manson into believing he never insulted him, he really thought that they had gotten along great.
At least, in trying to make up with Bieber, Manson seemed remorseful ... for a whole month. Then he decided it was time to throw cheap shots at Bieber again for no apparent reason, calling him "a girl" with "the mind of a squirrel." Honestly, it's very hard to make Justin Bieber look like the good guy, which makes this Manson's greatest success since Antichrist Superstar.
Gilbert Arenas And Javaris Crittenton Straight Up Pulled Guns On Each Other
It's easy to overlook the Washington Wizards when the Lebron James / Stephen Curry rivalry is so engrossing, but if you dig deep, you'll find one of the most outrageous beefs the NBA has ever seen. It was so outrageous, in fact, that two of the team's point guards, Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton, almost killed each other.
According to Arenas, it all started when Javale McGee won a card game during a trip on the team charter and Crittenton tried to get his money back. Arenas says he stepped in, and things quickly escalated to increasingly specific death threats. After Crittenton threatened to shoot him, Arenas responded, "I'll bring you the guns to shoot me!" Their teammates, sensibly evaluating this as nonsense trash talk, uneasily laughed off the incident and went home.
Then, the next day, he totally did that. Arenas brought four guns to the locker room -- one for each hand and foot, clearly -- and dared Crittenton to shoot him. The guns turned out to be unloaded, but Crittenton, who didn't know that, responded by pulling out his own very loaded gun. The situation was defused without any bloodshed, but both players were suspended for the rest of the season for breaking every rule and convicted of whichever crimes involve pulling guns on each other.
Arenas' sentence was somewhat harsher, but he returned to the Wizards the next season. Meanwhile, Crittenton, holy balls, actually shot and killed someone, and was sentenced to 23 years in prison. All things considered, Arenas got off light.
Tommy Lee Wants Everyone To Know That Travis Scott Stole His Roller Coaster Idea
There's probably not a huge overlap between fans of '80s heavy metal band Motley Crue and fans of rapper Travis Scott. So if, say, a Motley Crue concert and a Travis Scott production were to use strikingly similar stage setups, we could likely live our lives out fine without anyone being the wiser. Nevertheless, here's Tommy Lee drumming on a roller coaster onstage for Motley Crue:
And here's what Travis Scott looks like zooming around at one of his own concerts:
Do those look alike? Yeah, sure. Is that anywhere near the list of things you give the tiniest crap about? If you're not Tommy Lee, of course not. If you are Tommy Lee, you announce to the world "Just found out this f***ing idiot @travisscott or someone on his team ripped off the 360 AND The Cruecifly! WTF!! Get an original idea bro." Then, a little later, he added, "Hey @trvisXX lawyer up!" Of course, you already know this. You're Tommy Lee. Congratulations. Or maybe "sorry"?
Trvis XX did lawyer up, and his lawyer delivered a response that would change copyright amusement park ride stagecraft forever: "Tommy didn't invent the concept of a roller coaster on stage and there's no legal basis for his accusatory outburst." This only spurred Lee to investigate further, and while poring over the books, as Tommy Lee is wont to do, he discovered that the production company he hired to build his coasters also built Scott's coasters. You might think this isn't so surprising, because concert roller coaster manufacturing is a fairly niche industry, but Lee was convinced this was damning evidence. "So all u mothaf***as tellin me I'm not right can f*** off," he noted with characteristic eloquence.
Just why is Lee so sensitive about this gimmick? It might be because it's not really his at all. An engineer named Howard Scott King offered him the idea in 1991 ... and sued Lee in 2013 for using it without crediting him. The suit was dismissed, but not because it was Lee's idea after all; the judge instead pointed out that when you blurt out an idea to someone, that's not the same as submitting a formal proposal, and if you don't negotiate a deal with them, the idea is theirs to use. Feel free to tweet your favorite Harry Potter ships to J.K. Rowling, but know that the law says that once she makes them canon, she owes you nothing.
The Battle Of The Adam Goldbergs
This man is named Adam Goldberg:
He's an actor whom you may recognize from his roles in Dazed And Confused, Saving Private Ryan, and ... Babe: Pig In The City? His IMDb credits list is prodigious, and he is a proud working thespian who's paid his dues for the last 25 years.
This fellow is also named Adam Goldberg:
Adam F. Goldberg, that is. You probably don't recognize him at all. His biggest claim to fame is the creation of the ABC sitcom The Goldbergs. What's important is that they are two entirely different people, but they do occasionally and understandably get confused with one another. That's apparently what inspired Adam Goldberg to pull a seemingly harmless Twitter prank on his homonymous rival.
It's not uncommon for celebrities, especially the comedically inclined, to stage fake social media feuds for shares and giggles, but it quickly started to look like something, um ... a bit more personal was going on here.
In the ensuing media requests for clarification, the Adams Goldberg made their feelings for each other unequivocally known. Adam Goldberg complained that it had hurt him professionally to be mistakenly associated with The Goldbergs, and called Adam F. the worst thing middle-aged funny men can call each other (a "douchebag"). Adam F. shot back that, you know, it kind of sucked to endure years of Original Flavor Adam crapping on him just because he had the nerve to use his own name for his own show, and he pointed out that he's endured his share of the pain of mistaken identity. One time, looking for Original Flavor Adam, Nicole Kidman walked into his office. Talk about a ... nightmare?
Related: Is Adam Sandler The New Ernest?
Maggie Stiefvater Offended Halsey With Her Lyrical Interpretation
Sometimes, the intended meaning behind another's art might seem unclear. We might develop our own understanding, only to later find out the author's is quite different -- like if you were to annoy J.K. Rowling by comparing Dumbledore to a progressive politician. Maggie Stiefvater, known for writing young adult fiction, explained her interpretation of Halsey's "Drive" after a fan tweeted that the song reminded them of two of Stiefvater's characters. This was preposterous, she said, because Halsey's song was about handjobs.
But then Halsey responded, insisting that the song is in fact just about sitting in a car.
Halsey vowed to be the bigger person and delete the thread. Meanwhile, Stiefvater shrugged things off by claiming she never expected the singer to notice her.
But now that she mentions it, that's a good idea. Hey, Halsey! "Without Me" is about Eminem! Halsey, look at us!
Sylvester Stallone Pushed Richard Gere Out Of A Car (And That's The Most Normal Thing About This Story)
There's been some notoriously bad blood between Sylvester Stallone and Richard Gere, ever since they were cast opposite one another in a little indie drama called The Lords Of Flatbush. It was one of Stallone's first leading roles and Gere's first role period, but today it's remembered for being the last mediocre thing Henry Winkler had to do before Happy Days propelled him to the level of success he so richly deserved.
"But wait," we hear you say, "I've seen The Lords of Flatbush, and Richard Gere isn't even in that movie!" That's true! And it's a direct consequence of his and Stallone's squabbles. Stallone felt Gere looked down on the other cast members and didn't exactly keep it a secret, and one day, while rehearsing a fight scene, Gere began to beat Stallone up for real. Things came to head when Stallone asked Gere to be careful eating in his car, and Gere responded by pouring mustard on Stallone's jeans, at which point Rocky up and pushed the American Gigolo onto the street. With the relationship between the two putting the film in serious jeopardy, Gere was fired and replaced by actor Perry King.
Most stories would end here, but it gets even more ridiculous. You're no doubt aware of the almost certainly false but nevertheless persistent rumors that Gere once, um, anally abused himself with a gerbil. If you haven't, well, there isn't much more to it than that. Even the tabloid reporters who were tragically assigned that beat have admitted that it was probably all a sham. So how did it even get started? Who would have the gall to drag Richard Gere's good name through the pine bedding? According to Gere, none other than Sylvester Stallone himself.
Stallone acknowledged in an interview that Gere still blames him for starting the rumors. While Stallone denies having anything to do with it, it's worth noting that he brought up the topic himself, and by doing so, initiated a resurgence of the rumor right as it had begun to die down. Who'd figure Sylvester Stallone for a true king of gossip?
E. Reid Ross has a book called BIZARRE WORLD that's due to be released in September. He's practically on his knees begging that you pre-order it now from Amazon or Barnes & Noble and leave a scathing/glowing review. Please, for the love of God, follow Brogan on Twitter. Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for bits cut from this article and other stuff no one should see. Instead of reading tweets from lesser beings, follow Willie at @Will_i_eat.
For more, check out The 5 Most Hilariously Drug-Fueled Celebrity Interviews Ever - The Spit Take:
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