Disney's Toy Story 4 Merchandise Will Haunt Your Dreams

Toy Story 4 is set to hit theaters this month, and what would a Disney movie be without a breakout star whose face can be plastered on thousands of useless bits of plastic? Of course, in this case, we're talking about Forky, an anxious spork cursed with the horrors of sentience thanks to some googly eyes and pipe cleaner arms. We've mentioned before just how existentially terrifying Forky is, and it seems the recently released tie-in products that bear his likeness are no exception.

For starters, some Forky merch is surprisingly expensive. A talking Forky action figure costs $27.99, which seems like a lot, considering the character is literal garbage crudely modified by a small child. Most unsettling, though, is the line of Forky costumes, which were clearly designed by Satan himself.



Continue Reading Below


Continue Reading Below


Worse still is the UK version, which was presumably repurposed from all the kid-sized Slender Man costumes that didn't sell very well.


Etsy users are also getting in on the Forky bonanza, with items such as a Forky dog costume, for people who clearly hate their dogs. Even seemingly harmless items like jackets and T-shirts for some reason chose to highlight the disturbing nature of Forky's origins, specifically calling out his "existential crisis." (A reminder: Forky literally tries to kill himself in the movie.)



Continue Reading Below


Continue Reading Below


Of course, we haven't actually seen Toy Story 4 yet, so it's entirely possible that Forky will be so funny that we won't be able to resist draping ourselves in his branded apparel and dressing our children up in nightmarish bodysuits. But until then, we'll go ahead and consider him the creepiest Disney character since Michael Eisner.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter!

For more, check out Jurassic World 3 To Bring Back The Jurassic Park Cast, Oh No and Uh, There Is Now An Xbox-Scented Axe Body Wash.

Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

You've got a friend in us. So, follow us on Facebook!

To turn on reply notifications, click here


Load Comments

More Articles

5 Screwed-Up Secrets The Ultra-Rich Don't Want You To Know

You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.


5 Billion-Dollar Industries That Treat Workers Like Garbage

Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.


5 Underreported Dumb Annoyances Pro Athletes Put Up With

Being at the top of your game can really drag you down.


5 Acts Of Charity That Went Horrendously Wrong

The road to losing your tax exemption status is paved with good intentions.


5 Dark (But Hilarious) Times Big Tech Companies Failed Hard

Well, this is ... bleakly hilarious.


6 Very Stupid Questions With Very Smart Answers

No serious person would ask these questions ... but we got serious answers anyway.