There's Going To Be A 'Saint's Row' Movie

The video game series Saint's Row is getting turned into a movie. Since the overall tone of the games takes something of a turn over time, let's figure out where on the spectrum between the first and fourth games this movie might lie.

In the first game, you control "The Playa," an initiate to the Saint's Row gang, which has decided to take out their three rivals to gain control of the city of Stillwater. Fast-forward to the fourth game, and your character is the leader of the Saints -- and also, incidentally, the president of the United States. And then aliens invade to enslave the human race in a Matrix-style virtual-reality prison. So you, gang leader and the president, gain superpowers to fight the aliens, along with the help of giant purple dildo swords and a gun that shoots dubstep.

And then the Earth explodes. (Seriously.)Deep SilverAnd then the Earth explodes. (Seriously.)

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From which version will the movie draw its inspiration? Well, it's being directed by F. Gary Gray, who directed the most recent Fast & Furious movie. That is, of course, the series which began with a humble band of street racers / VCR thieves driving Hondas in 2001, and now features those same characters defeating nuclear submarines with supercars. So, uh, we guess that might be a hint?

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. And check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's Goop parody BunnyEars.com.

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For more, check out It's Time To Talk About That Awful Sonic Movie Trailer and We Found The Grossest 'Avengers: Endgame' Ads.

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