The obvious solution here (apart from publicly defiling the theater with your bodily waste) is for the filmmakers to include an intermission. Cinematic intermissions used to be more common, with epics like Ben-Hur and Lawrence Of Arabia giving their audiences a respite from all the adventure and old-timey racism. Even 2001: A Space Odyssey had an intermission, and it's almost 40 minutes shorter than Endgame. As pointed out by io9, according to the Dictionnaire du Theatre, intermissions are an integral part of digesting narratives -- a "psychological necessity," even. Not only does it make a production more of a social event, but it also "signals an awakening of the critical faculties." Plus, you can take a whizz.
Alas, there will be no intermission in Endgame. But contrary to what Feige (the guy whose job is to talk about how awesome this movie is) implied, there will likely be a few crappy scenes that will make for an ideal breaks. And here in the glorious 21st century, we even have apps that can tell you when would be a good time to do so. Probably during the scene wherein Hawkeye pops by a CVS to load up on Axe.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter!
For more, check out This Is Probably The Weirdest Gaming Drama Of 2019 and Get Ready For Bruce Springsteen's 'Harry Potter' Song.
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook. Ya dig?
Recommended For Your Pleasure
You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.
- By Adam Wears
- June 11, 2019
Criminal behavior can be influenced by some very weird, seemingly random factors.
- By Diego C.
- June 05, 2019
The news spent weeks reporting on these giant scandals without bothering to mention the stupidest parts.
- By Mark Hill
- June 06, 2019
Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.
- By Adam Wears
- June 10, 2019