KFC Just Ruined 'RoboCop' Forever

Presumably in the hope that angering nerds somehow leads to increased deep-fried chicken sales, KFC has unveiled its new mascot -- and goddamn it, it's RoboCop. Well, technically Col. RoboCop -- the iconic cinematic cyborg, but with the glasses and beard of Col. Sanders. So are they implying that RoboCop has gone insane and thinks he's a 20th-century fast food mogul? Or did they use the same technology that resurrected Alex Murphy on the late Harland Sanders?

According to KFC: "He once protected the streets of Detroit. Now he's protecting KFC's Secret Recipe." So this suggests it is the real RoboCop. It also suggests that the fast food chain is willing to shoot hooligans in the genitals just to keep their herbs and spices under wraps. The commercial spots find Col. RoboCop out in the world, hurling drumsticks at strung-out street toughs.

KFC Just Ruined 'RoboCop' ForeverYouTube

KFC Just Ruined 'RoboCop' ForeverYouTube

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In another, he interrupts a family (watching noted family film RoboCop), and promptly threatens to murder them all if they don't immediately chow down on a bucket of extra crispy.

KFC Just Ruined 'RoboCop' ForeverYouTube

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Which is kind of a weird message to send. Sure it fits in with the chilling dystopian aspects of the RoboCop series, but why would a restaurant chain want to imply that their food literally needs to be forced on innocent people on pain of death? That's why McDonald's ads never feature Grimace holding children at gunpoint.

This isn't even an original idea. As we've mentioned before, back in the '90s, RoboCop was a mascot for a Korean fried chicken company, also terrorizing an unsuspecting family.

KFC Just Ruined 'RoboCop' ForeverYouTube

KFC Just Ruined 'RoboCop' ForeverYouTube

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To their credit, the KFC commercials feature Basil Poledouris' iconic music, and RoboCop's voice sounds a hell of a lot like that of original actor Peter Weller. Which, on the other hand, is kind of infuriating, considering that the 1987 film is a vehemently anti-corporate satire. RoboCop is supposed to be a symbol for how we can reclaim our individuality in an increasingly dehumanizing world -- not a mascot hocking greasy poultry globules. We don't buy it. Not even for a dollar.

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For more, check out Urban Outfitters Is Selling Video Tapes, Thinks You're Dumb and FDA: Stealing Young People's Blood Won't Make You Immortal.

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