Giant Santa Claus Terrorizes British Motorists

It wouldn't be Christmas without huge traffic delays. People are busy visiting relatives, running out to grab last-minute gifts, and leaving in the middle of dinner just to get some goddamn peace and quiet. And there's a reason Santa Claus has a flying sleigh: so a bunch of kids don't wake up on December 25 to find that their presents are stuck on I-95 in the same car as several bottles filled with candy-cane-scented urine and a depressingly large stash of elvish trucker pills.

The festive traffic chaos apparently seems to have gotten off to an early start this year, thanks to no less than Santa himself.

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Yesterday, motorists travelling through Cambridgeshire in the UK had their daily commute interrupted with uncharacteristic excitement after a nearby inflatable Santa (or as they blasphemously call him, "Father Christmas"), which was being used to advertise a local business, broke free of its moorings and landed smack-dab in the middle of the highway. As a result, traffic was blocked in one direction, which caused a series of delays that took over an hour to disperse. It's hard to see how anyone could have gotten road-rage-y about this, though.

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The situation was eventually resolved after two local heroes pulled Santa off and dumped him on the roadside -- which, all told, sounds like the beginnings of a far-less popular sequel to "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."

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