Giant Santa Claus Terrorizes British Motorists
It wouldn't be Christmas without huge traffic delays. People are busy visiting relatives, running out to grab last-minute gifts, and leaving in the middle of dinner just to get some goddamn peace and quiet. And there's a reason Santa Claus has a flying sleigh: so a bunch of kids don't wake up on December 25 to find that their presents are stuck on I-95 in the same car as several bottles filled with candy-cane-scented urine and a depressingly large stash of elvish trucker pills.
The festive traffic chaos apparently seems to have gotten off to an early start this year, thanks to no less than Santa himself.
Yesterday, motorists travelling through Cambridgeshire in the UK had their daily commute interrupted with uncharacteristic excitement after a nearby inflatable Santa (or as they blasphemously call him, "Father Christmas"), which was being used to advertise a local business, broke free of its moorings and landed smack-dab in the middle of the highway. As a result, traffic was blocked in one direction, which caused a series of delays that took over an hour to disperse. It's hard to see how anyone could have gotten road-rage-y about this, though.
The situation was eventually resolved after two local heroes pulled Santa off and dumped him on the roadside -- which, all told, sounds like the beginnings of a far-less popular sequel to "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."
Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter dedicated to depressing history facts. It's not as heartbreakingly sad as it sounds, promise!
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