The Founders Of Chippendales Were A Bunch Of Murderers
Somen "Steve" Banerjee was a true pioneer of the 20th century. In 1979, he was hosting a female mud wrestling night when he had an epiphany: "What if we did this, but with cocks?" Together with some unlikely partners -- lawyer Bruce Nahin, former pimp Paul Snider, and Emmy-winning choreographer Nick De Noia -- he launched Chippendales, America's favorite bulge-based dance troupe. But while the beefcakes on stage were all about healthy living and positive male sexuality, the founders were all about anger, jealousy, and occasionally some light murder.
The first murder came in 1980, when Snider's wife and former client, Playboy model Dorothy Stratten, left him. Snider found out that Stratten was sleeping with director Peter Bogdanovich, so he broke into Stratten's house, raped her, murdered her, then blew his own head off with a shotgun.
Meanwhile, Banerjee was growing concerned about how many other entertainers were stealing his absolutely unique idea of getting hot people to take off their clothes for money, so decided he needed to take strong steps to protect his brand. Steps such as burning down nightclubs that dared to host rival dance troupes, or hiring a hitman to shoot Nick De Noia dead in front of his apartment because he decided to quit the Chippendales and do choreography for one of its rivals. Remember, we're talking about dick-dancing here. Professional dick-dancing.
Banerjee was also behind a plot to murder Nahin, but that took a backseat to a much grander plan to wipe out the competition. Through two inept goons, Banerjee contracted Lynn Bressler, code-named "Strawberry," to kill several members of the Chippendales' biggest rival beefcake factory, Adonis. Banerjee's goons supplied Strawberry with a bag o' cyanide and told him to poison three Adonis employees. That bag was later recovered by the FBI, and was found to contain enough cyanide to kill 2,300 people, suggesting that any one Adonis dancer was worth 766 ordinary men. Truly, they were gods.
But if there's one thing Strawberry Bressler liked more than poisoning strippers, it was being an informant for the feds. When pressed, he turned over quicker than an oiled-up Chippendale on Ass Night, and the authorities arrested Banerjee. This opened the floodgates, exposing the murder, racketeering, and arson. Banerjee, seeing no exit stage left, hung himself in prison before a judge could sentence him. Those Chippendales always were well-hung.
The Founder Of DHL Was A Pedophile Who Rampaged Unchecked Across The Pacific
Larry Hillblom was the kind of guy who'd get banned from multiple bakeries for fondling the muffins. Unfortunately, he was also the kind of guy who could sell sand to a desert, and he became very rich after co-founding DHL, the Pepsi to FedEx's Coke. And trust us when we say that he was the last man you'd want to have "Fuck you" money. You would not like where he applied it.