The Spoilers For Game Of Thrones' Last Season Sound Epic

Here's everything we learnt about the show that's going to utterly consume our lives next year.
The Spoilers For Game Of Thrones' Last Season Sound Epic

The final season of Game Of Thrones isn't due to begin until April 2019, but the hype machine has already kicked off. Or at least, that's the impression we're getting from the deluge of information that just dropped into our laps from Entertainment Weekly like so many turds made out of fruitcake. (Obviously, SPOILERS.)

According to EW, the season opens with one big callback to the show's first episode, only instead of Robert Baratheon rocking up to Winterfell, it's Daenerys and her army -- a meeting that kicks off "a thrilling and tense intermingling of characters." For instance, Sansa isn't happy that Jon has "bent the knee" to Dany.

One of the final episodes of the season, meanwhile, is entirely dedicated to the long-awaited throwdown between the forces of Westeros and the White Walkers, an event promised to be "the most sustained action sequence ever made for television or film." And to be fair, we'd expect nothing less from the episode's director, Miguel Sapochnik, who also directed some pokey-ass episode called "Battle Of The Bastards."

Oh, and just to complicate matters further, this episode isn't the telling of a single battle. It reportedly "intercuts between multiple characters involved in their own survival storylines that each feels like its own genre," which sounds frankly stupid in terms of scale. On the plus side, though, we can't wait for the battle modeled on the musical genre. Watching Brienne and Tormund smash frozen skulls while singing about their feelings like a bedraggled Rita Hayworth and Gene Kelly sounds amazing.

As it turns out, though, we're lucky to be getting a final season at all. Well, kinda. The eighth season was originally conceived not as a a series of episodes, but as three two-hour movies. Why? Because showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss weren't sure whether they'd ever get the budget necessary to give the show the finale it so richly deserved -- a problem (and idea) that disappeared after GOT became the biggest thingamabob out there.

Of course, this could all be an elaborate fake-out, considering the decoy endings they've filmed! Or maybe not! It's hard to tell, but at least we haven't long to wait!

*checks notes*

Six months?! What the fu-

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