We're not calling for a slide prohibition enforced by cold-hearted playground police, but if you do slide with your kid, keep their limbs carefully tucked in so you don't break them like some lumbering oaf petting a rabbit. Or just pretend you'll slide with them, then shove them down on their own at the last second. That's the safest way to keep them from becoming a weird statistic, and you'll teach them a valuable lesson about the inevitability of betrayal.

Related: 20 Commonplace Things That Can Kill The Hell Out Of You

And since UVA exposure adds up over time, all that driving you do over the decades creates a slow but steady accumulation of sun damage. If you live in one of those weird countries that drives on the right side of the road, then the opposite effect is seen. But at least then, in a continuation of the opposites theme, your country likely has a robust national healthcare system to help you address the problem.

This doesn't mean that you need to bundle up in a ski jacket whenever you drive to the grocery store, but if you're the sort of person who's behind the wheel a lot (long-haul truckers, road trippers, people driving to Alaska in an effort to escape the various factions vying for control of their soothsaying powers, etc.), it is recommended that you take a few basic precautions. Sunscreen is the obvious solution, seasonally appropriate protective clothing helps too, and if you're perpetually on the road because you're a traveling encyclopedia salesman, then you can apply a film or tint to your window (if legal where you live; please do not cite advice you received on Cracked if you are arrested for suspicion of being a roving sex offender). What's important to remember is that the sun is perpetually trying to kill you, even when you think you're safe.

Related: 5 Things You Do Every Day That Will Kill You In The Future

Lime juice, a key ingredient in many delicious cocktails, reacts with sunlight when spilled on skin to cause a rash that, while initially mild, can turn into a painful blister over the course of 72 hours. At its worst, you can end up with a second-degree burn, and as an added bonus, the scars and discoloration that follow can last for months or even years. The phenomenon is called lime disease, because wordplay helps ease the pain.

Katykidk/Wikimedia CommonsWell that sure took the fun out of happy hour.

As the name implies, most cases occur when people squeeze limes to make margaritas while outside, although lemons, grapefruits, celery, and parsley, among other fruits and vegetables, can also cause the reaction. But let's be real, you're not tending a garden or snacking on celery while out for a run; you're getting drunk in your backyard. So keep an eye out for stray lime squirts, and if any juice gets on you, wash the affected area with soap. And then make another damn margarita, because you're not about to let some burns and long-term cosmetic damage get in the way of your hard-earned buzz.

Related: 19 Everyday Things You Didn't Know Will Kill You Dead

The epidemic is somewhat seasonal (a lot more avocados are sold to a lot more people who don't know what they're doing around Cinco de Mayo than, say, Christmas), but one doctor claimed to see a case of avocado hand every week, and another said he gets four a week. And that's not even counting the patients who said they got in a bar fight because they were too embarrassed to admit that they'd hurt themselves trying to cut open a fruit. So when you decide to forgo a mortgage payment and buy a bushel of avocados, either carefully cut around the pit or just remove it with a damn spoon.

Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book that won't hurt you.

You could still tint your windows, if you really wanted.

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