If you asked your crazy conspiracy theorist uncle to list the places where shady business is definitely afoot, he'd probably say Area 51, HAARP, Congress, and -- hilariously and somewhat inexplicably -- Denver International Airport. This isn't an isolated belief. According to professional tinfoil hat wearers everywhere, DIA is built atop a secretive network of bunkers where everyone from the Illuminati to the NWO to the Freemasons are preparing for the apocalypse.

Ordinarily the airport doesn't like to discuss the conspiracies ("Huh, you're right, our building does look like a giant swastika"), but last week, presumably after realizing that modern conspiracy theories are so toxic that "apocalypse bunker for the lizard people" looks quaint by comparison, they erected a series of posters around designed not only to warn travelers about construction work, but also to poke a little fun at the expense of the colorfully paranoid.

In a power move that we wouldn't mind seeing other conspiracy-embattled companies pull, the airport shredded every Infowarsian fantasy out there, from the aforementioned "airport as survival bunker" idea ...

DEN ADENEILES ARE WE CREATING THE WORLD'S GREATEST AIRPORT? OR PREPARING FOR THE EOD OF THE WORLD? Learthetruth atDENRIlescom
Denver International Airport

DEN UNDER CONSTRUCTION? OR UNDERGROUND TUNNELS? Learn the truth at DENEllecOM >#DENFILES
Denver International Airport

... to the bizarre fascination that conspiracy theorists have with the airport's gargoyles ...

DEN ESE STREAMLINED SECURITY? OR MORE SECRETS? Learnthe truth at DENEleScOM ADENEILES
Denver International Airport

... to the belief that there's a ton of secret societies enjoying a timeshare in their basement ...

DEN ADENEILES WHAT ARE WE DOING? ADDING AMAZING NEW RESTAURANTS AND BARS B BUILDING AN ILLUMINATL HEADQUARTERS REMODELING THE LIZARD PEOPLE'S LAIR Lea
Denver International Airport

... to flat out come at us, bro-style invitations for conspiracy theorists to keep dreaming up imaginative plots.

DEN NEW CONCESSIONS? COCESSIONS OR NEW CONSPIRACIES? Learn tbe truth at OENFitescom AAT HDENFILES
Denver International Airport

Be careful what you wish for, DIA. It's all fun and games until someone imagines a child trafficking ring hiding underneath the Wetzel's Pretzel's and storms the place armed with whatever tools of liberation you can buy at an airport bookstore.

Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about depressing history that you should definitely subscribe to.

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