How Denver Airport is Trolling Conspiracy Theory Nuts HARD

If you asked your crazy conspiracy theorist uncle to list the places where shady business is definitely afoot, he'd probably say Area 51, HAARP, Congress, and -- hilariously and somewhat inexplicably -- Denver International Airport. This isn't an isolated belief. According to professional tinfoil hat wearers everywhere, DIA is built atop a secretive network of bunkers where everyone from the Illuminati to the NWO to the Freemasons are preparing for the apocalypse.

Ordinarily the airport doesn't like to discuss the conspiracies ("Huh, you're right, our building does look like a giant swastika"), but last week, presumably after realizing that modern conspiracy theories are so toxic that "apocalypse bunker for the lizard people" looks quaint by comparison, they erected a series of posters around designed not only to warn travelers about construction work, but also to poke a little fun at the expense of the colorfully paranoid.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

In a power move that we wouldn't mind seeing other conspiracy-embattled companies pull, the airport shredded every Infowarsian fantasy out there, from the aforementioned "airport as survival bunker" idea ...

Denver International Airport

Denver International Airport

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

... to the bizarre fascination that conspiracy theorists have with the airport's gargoyles ...

Denver International Airport

... to the belief that there's a ton of secret societies enjoying a timeshare in their basement ...

Denver International Airport

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

... to flat out come at us, bro-style invitations for conspiracy theorists to keep dreaming up imaginative plots.

Denver International Airport

Be careful what you wish for, DIA. It's all fun and games until someone imagines a child trafficking ring hiding underneath the Wetzel's Pretzel's and storms the place armed with whatever tools of liberation you can buy at an airport bookstore.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about depressing history that you should definitely subscribe to.

Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out A French Town Is Being Terrorized By A Horny Dolphin and Seriously, The New Joker Movie Just Added A Trump Character.

Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

Follow us on Facebook ... because the truth is out there.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

26 Comments

Load Comments

More Articles

5 Famous Old Movies That Now Look Painfully Stupid In 2019

The flow of time is cruel to us all.

186

6 Insanely Complex Pop Culture Mysteries Solved By Fans

Some particularly obsessed fans sacrifice huge amounts of time and effort to come up with answers so we can all sleep a little better at night.

67

6 Utterly Insane Movie Moments Everybody Forgets Exist

Lots of people forgot these movie moments ... but, like, how?

156

5 Cute Easter Eggs That Turned Into Huge Disasters

Rarely does an Easter egg shatter your hold on reality ... but these just might.

79

6 Classic Films That Almost Turned Out Terrible

Let us gaze into the parallel realities where these famous movies are really just infamously terrible.

159

6 Directors Who Use The Same Weird Scene In Every Movie

You'll never unsee these unusual tics.

70