The Dumb Reason Why 'Christopher Robin' Is Banned In China

Oh bother, it seems that the new Winnie the Pooh movie, Christopher Robin, has just been banned in China -- a move that now puts Pooh Bear in the same league as hardcore political dissidents like Ai Weiwei, Jennifer Zeng, and Peppa Pig.

You might be wondering what the movie did to incur such harsh treatment. Did it introduce a llama character named Dalai? Did Tigger rename his house to Tigganmen Square? Did Owl give a ten-minute-long speech to the camera about the superiority of capitalism and how everyone living under communism should rise up? Nah, it's because Chinese President Xi Jinping wants everyone to stop comparing him to Pooh.

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As you can probably guess, life in China can really suck if you don't like the government. Comparing Xi to Pooh Bear allows people to blow off some steam and mock the person most responsible for their misery in a way that's not apparently obvious. In the last few years, however, Xi caught onto this bitchfest, and under the pretense that the comparison was "a serious effort to undermine the dignity of the presidential office," censored Winnie the Pooh references on the Chinese internet. Have they never heard of the Streisand effect?

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Xi, word of advice: If Donald Trump can somehow hold himself back from going all Fahrenheit 451 on every copy of Back To The Future Part II in existence, you can stand to be compared to a cartoon bear whose primary characteristics are "kinda round" and "eats lots of honey." Also, maybe try being less of an absolute swaggering douchebag? Just a thought.

Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about depressing history that you should definitely subscribe to.

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