In Sixteen Candles, Nobody Remembers A Girl's Birthday
Sixteen Candles hails from a period in human history when a person could make it through their entire day without getting 75 Facebook birthday reminders from friends, family members, and forgotten high school acquaintances with babies you've seen more times than a sunset.
That's the driving force behind John Hughes' directorial debut, wherein Molly Ringwald's character, Sam, bemoans the fact that everybody in her life forgot her special day. Her Sweet Sixteen happens to fall one day before her sister's wedding, so everyone in her life is too preoccupied to toss an "HBD" her way. They don't have Facebook, Google Calendars, extremely basic knowledge of their own flesh and blood, or the ability to read a teenager's glaring facial cues.
Universal PicturesProps to John Hughes for making a movie with an F-bomb and nudity, yet still pulling a PG rating.
Nowadays, Sam would be instantly deluged with "Happy Birthday" messages, beginning at 12:01 a.m. and continuing for three days after her birthday, at which point she would scroll through them, "like" the best ones, feel bad for not "liking" all of them, then acquiesce and spend the rest of her day politely "liking" the full 200. The 2018 version of Sixteen Candles would involve Sam checking her email and wondering, "Why am I getting a birthday wish from 'your friends at O'Hare Long-Term Parking?'"
The Ring Is About A Video That Kills You ... Unless You Share It
In The Ring, people die seven days after watching a cursed videotape. That is, unless they make a copy of the tape and show it to someone else. But this was in 2002, before the rise of the omnipresent, omnipotent YouTube.
Today, the cursed tape would get ripped immediately -- probably before it even officially came out -- and then copied hundreds of times, prompting response videos, parodies, and dozens of memes that would be beaten into the ground within a week.
Dreamworks Pictures"The Ring, but every time Superintendent Chalmers says the letter 'B,' it kills you twice as fast."
No one would ever die from the Ring curse. Well, not for at least a few months, anyway, after which our fleeting attention spans would all shift to a clip of a bird that looks like it's doing the Dougie or something.
Also, no one actually owns a functional VHS player anymore. Unless it was uploaded to YouTube, the tape would claim the lives of, like, two library technicians and 73 hipsters watching it ironically.
Dreamworks PicturesAs if a VHS tape could have survived that long without getting eaten in a VCR or taped over with a baseball game.
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For more outdated movie tropes, check out 6 Groups Who Don't Work As Movie Bad Guys Anymore and 5 Huge Hit Movies That No One Ever Talks About Anymore.
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