5 Movie Problems That Kids Today Will Never Understand

This scene still comes across as unsettling today, but digitize any of his actions, and we'd bet somebody reading this article is doing the exact same thing in another tab. You know, scrolling through every post on their crush's Instagram account. Still potentially creepy behavior, but nobody's gonna make a movie about it.

Today, this photo-obsessive mom would definitely have an Instagram, and that account would almost definitely be public, and random people would constantly be scrolling through photos of her kids' sporting events and their family vacations all the time. She'd want the maximum number of people to see them; that's the whole point of posting photos publicly. Really, for modern audiences, the only thing tipping them off that Sy is a creep is that haircut.

Fox Searchlight PicturesHe is clearly the love child of King Joffrey and Flo from Progressive.

Imagine a band nowadays thinking the only barrier for entry into the music business is getting their song played one time on a local radio station. Hell, depending on how media-savvy they are, you might have to explain the whole concept of radio stations to a modern kid. "It's like a podcast mixed with Spotify, but always on. Also there are ads. Ads? Well you see, companies used to make money on things called adverti-"

There's also the fact that the band owns TWO physical copies of their song: a reel-to-reel (which catches fire) and a cassette tape that they lose and desperately need to track down. Nowadays, anyone would have a digital file easily accessible on their phone, or a flash drive, or the damn cloud. 40 minutes of this movie would today get condensed into a 15-second scene in which Steve Buscemi re-downloads an email attachment.

20 Century Fox"What studio did you record this in?" "The laptop in my apartment."

That's the driving force behind John Hughes' directorial debut, wherein Molly Ringwald's character, Sam, bemoans the fact that everybody in her life forgot her special day. Her Sweet Sixteen happens to fall one day before her sister's wedding, so everyone in her life is too preoccupied to toss an "HBD" her way. They don't have Facebook, Google Calendars, extremely basic knowledge of their own flesh and blood, or the ability to read a teenager's glaring facial cues.

Universal PicturesProps to John Hughes for making a movie with an F-bomb and nudity, yet still pulling a PG rating.

Nowadays, Sam would be instantly deluged with "Happy Birthday" messages, beginning at 12:01 a.m. and continuing for three days after her birthday, at which point she would scroll through them, "like" the best ones, feel bad for not "liking" all of them, then acquiesce and spend the rest of her day politely "liking" the full 200. The 2018 version of Sixteen Candles would involve Sam checking her email and wondering, "Why am I getting a birthday wish from 'your friends at O'Hare Long-Term Parking?'"

Today, the cursed tape would get ripped immediately -- probably before it even officially came out -- and then copied hundreds of times, prompting response videos, parodies, and dozens of memes that would be beaten into the ground within a week.

Dreamworks Pictures"The Ring, but every time Superintendent Chalmers says the letter 'B,' it kills you twice as fast."

No one would ever die from the Ring curse. Well, not for at least a few months, anyway, after which our fleeting attention spans would all shift to a clip of a bird that looks like it's doing the Dougie or something.

Also, no one actually owns a functional VHS player anymore. Unless it was uploaded to YouTube, the tape would claim the lives of, like, two library technicians and 73 hipsters watching it ironically.

Dreamworks PicturesAs if a VHS tape could have survived that long without getting eaten in a VCR or taped over with a baseball game.

Support Cracked's journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more outdated movie tropes, check out 6 Groups Who Don't Work As Movie Bad Guys Anymore and 5 Huge Hit Movies That No One Ever Talks About Anymore.

Follow us on Facebook. It's free.