The 5 Types Of Movies You're About To Get Sick Of

But that's not all! Matt Smith, the Eleventh Doctor turned Duke on The Crown, will play the titular Charlie in the forthcoming Charlie Says, the story of the three women who were sentenced to life imprisonment after carrying out Manson's horrifying instructions. On the lighter side of quintuple homicide, Hilary Duff will portray Tate herself in The Haunting Of Sharon Tate, an imagined psychological thriller wherein Tate magically foresees visions of her own murder. (Tate's sister is not a fan.)

Do we really need any new Manson biopics, though? Bob Odenkirk already perfected the role on The Ben Stiller Show 25 years ago.

Paramount initially planned to supplement Transformers and G.I. Joe by rolling out an entire Hasbro cinematic universe, with an all-star team of writers building movies around '80s action figure lines like Micronauts, M.A.S.K., and ROM. If you're a nerd and you're already saying "Who?", imagine how excited general audiences will be. M.A.S.K. has since reportedly been shelved, but the year 2020 will bring us a new G.I. Joe movie (daringly titled G.I. Joe), and a Micronauts one, followed by a Dungeons & Dragons reboot and Untitled Hasbro Project in 2021.

The question is, with four movies in 24 months, how can they possibly maintain the consistent quality of the $1.5 billion Transformers franchise?

As for ROM, the studio seemed to forget that the project existed for a few years there, but they recently hired the guy from Avengers and Ready Player One to figure out how to do the script. If that doesn't work out, they could always cobble together Chappie clips off the cutting room floor. But they better do it quickly, while teens are still constantly talking about the toy ROM.

Why are all these movies coming out now? Well, last year they released a film about Winnie The Pooh creator A. A. Milne, which ... didn't make much money or win any big prizes (probably because they left out the part about Milne's son making his own gun). So yeah, we got nothing. Still, let's all look forward to a bunch of scenes about sulky people whipping bottles at typewriters, followed by a final scene in which some of Dr. Suess' "magic" occurs in real life and all his relatives are like, "Whoa, was that real life or his book? In a way, his magic is real now ... or is it?" and stare into the camera. Awww, hell yeah. Open-ended magical realism is an HOV lane to PROFOUND CITY. Let's get eight of this exact movie.

Oh, and for good measure, the screenwriter for It has been tapped to write a big-screen adaptation of the Nickelodeon Saturday night staple Are You Afraid of the Dark? It'll be interesting to see what that guy can do with a clown that's REALLY scary.

But even this was a brief one-off appearance, and more noteworthy for everyone ripping on Jared Leto claiming he mailed the cast used condoms and anal beads to get into character as the Joker, the Batman villain known for always doing that.

Pretending the "new" Joker never happened is about to get way tougher, though. Warner Bros. is simultaneously developing three new Joker-centric movies. There's the Suicide Squad sequel (the first movie did make $745 million worldwide, despite its couple of faults), a standalone movie centered around the Joker's relationship with Harley Quinn, and a Joker "origin" story directed by Todd Phillips (yes, the Hangover Todd Phillips) and produced by Martin Scorsese (forgot what he directed ... Hangover 3?). The studio reportedly hopes to continue the Leto Joker as part of the connected universe, while the "origin" timeline will exist independently and allow for a different actor -- Joaquin Phoenix was "in talks" -- to DHL shit-covered sex toys to unsuspecting A-listers.

What happens when a disgruntled Leto flips out when the Phoenix Joker movies get more popular than his? Easy: They film him mailing Phoenix dead parakeets or whatever and release that as a Paranormal Activity-style "found footage" movie in a THIRD Joker timeline. Then they shoehorn the Joker into Tomb Raider 2, do two concurrent Lego Joker movies (one for each Joker), and release Ocean's 8 Jokers, a heist movie in which a ragtag group of Jokers teams up to pull off one last big joke. Then each of those eight Jokers gets their own Joker universe, and long story short, every single one of these movies is great.

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