Why are all these movies coming out now? Well, last year they released a film about Winnie The Pooh creator A. A. Milne, which ... didn't make much money or win any big prizes (probably because they left out the part about Milne's son making his own gun). So yeah, we got nothing. Still, let's all look forward to a bunch of scenes about sulky people whipping bottles at typewriters, followed by a final scene in which some of Dr. Suess' "magic" occurs in real life and all his relatives are like, "Whoa, was that real life or his book? In a way, his magic is real now ... or is it?" and stare into the camera. Awww, hell yeah. Open-ended magical realism is an HOV lane to PROFOUND CITY. Let's get eight of this exact movie.
There Are Three '90s Kids Horror Franchises In The Works
Despite all odds and common sense, the 2015 Goosebumps movie starring Jack Black was generally positively reviewed and earned around $80 million at the box office. And we all know how movie studios respond when a generally fondly remembered property spawns a decent film that performs adequately at the box office: GREEN-LIGHT FOUR MORE R.L. STINE MOVIES, STAT! WE NEED ONE READY TO GO BY THE TIME I FINISH CHOMPING THIS COMICALLY HUGE "STUDIO PRODUCER" CIGAR AND SHOUTING "INSTRUCTIONS!" NOW.
A second 'Bumps film, Goosebumps: Horrorland, is already underway, and Stine's other kids' horror series, Fear Street, is potentially being made into three movies. There are about 200 Goosebumps books in total, and another 150 Fear Streets, so even if they churn out five movies a year, there's enough source material for seven decades' worth of PG thrillers ... after which point Stine's great-grandchildren will have written another 1,000 books about urban legend blobs that devour middle-school cafeterias, and the cycle will begin anew.
Scholastic PublishingThey've found it. A cinematic perpetual motion machine. The Stinerverse.